First Light

 

First light

 

Upon whimsical notions the sun rises high
like hot-air balloons in the dawning sky
Floating softly on sweet angels song
sacredly warming thy new day along
Delicate flowers unfurl their sleepy eyes
reaching urgently in ascending surprise
To warm the heart in morning flight
surrounding thy spirit in heavenly light

In freshness of daybreak and glory divine
reflections on pond will glisten and shine

My patient little dahlia, open thy petal eyes
and feel the enchantment of time, revised

As misty rings slowly evaporate, spent
sending tendrils of Heaven's lofty scent
Dwelling upon the heart's echo alas
releasing thy call on nature's glass
Tis twilight that fades on this silky morn
puffing gossamer strings on breezes adorned
     As they catch your arm on waves from above    
and you...greet the morning with your dawning love

 

 

 

 

If you enjoyed this piece, please check out Robin's parallel poem

First Night

 

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

This is beautiful - very pastoral. There's some great imagery and excellent language here and I really like your descriptions. The rhythm is a bit asymmetrical at times and that can be a bit jarring for the reader and slightly disruptive to the flow, so you may want to smooth it over a bit. Also (this is very nitpicky, I know, but my inner grammar nerd commands that I point it out) I think there should be an apostrophe after the word "angels" in the second line. Well done!

[The Broken One]

This is beautiful Amber. Truly a reflection of your heart. Well done my friend.

[Orlando Murcia]

All I have to say is Awsome, great poem! I love your creativity.
You did great. Orlando Murcia

[Brette Medb]

I pictured a little girl waking up slowly to the sound of her mother's voice and seeing around her an enchanted world filled with sunshine and flower petals, I'm not sure if that's what you were going for but that's definitely what I pictured. There really isn't any critiquing I could give to this since the rhyme and the beat were spot on for every line and the descriptive imagery was amazing. Great write.


Brette

[An owl on the moon]

Such a beautiful, lilting refrain, soft and playful like a kitten... Your words evoke a gentle morning mood, awakening the skies with your poetic expression. Wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RHEA CROSLEY]

This is a beautiful presentation of a delightful start to a new day. Wonderful fulfillment of the senses in these words. I being in different states on different morning appreciate the grandeur of such a rapturous morn. Thanks for the tour.

[Dani California]

Ahhh... is this what that sleep brought about Ms. Amber? What a lovely way to bring in a new day....
Indeed.

Favorite!

[Forest Green]

Truly a writing that surpasses rhyme and meeter to bring the third dimensions cherished in verse.

Excellent...speaks of the everpresent, everchanging scent of life and love.

Well done....!

Daniel

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

What i love about your poetry is it's a cross between old english and modern day speech... this is so beautifully written with such glowing passion... I wish I had a a love to make me feel like this... Stunning, stunning, STUNNING!!

[darkgurl]

"Tis twilight that fades on this silky morn
puffing gossamer strings on breezes adorned
As they catch your arm on waves from above
and you...greet the morning with your dawning love" I just love these lines here, this is a most wonderful and beautiful inspiring write here, very well written.