SILENCE

Outside the room there was a loud and deafening storm.... Inside the room a storm was brewing…..but in silence.

The lightning and its clatter

 The raindrops and their chatter

The sound as the clouds rumble

 The noise as the winds grumble

 

 Locked gazes getting bold

 So many tales unfold

 All thoughts unsaid are heard

 No need for any word

 

 Steam rising from the tea

 As you sit facing me

So much is said in sips

No need for words from lips

Reviews

[AliciaB]

COOL! This is an awesome poem. First of all, you have executed the rhyme scheme very well - every rhyme sounds like it fits into the poem, with nothing forced and no disruptions of the rhythm of the lines. The "aabb" scheme also gives the whole piece a fast-paced, heart-pounding tone, adding to the intensity portrayed by the words themselves. I really like the reflection of the emotions within the room by the storm outside. My favorite lines are "So much is said in sips / No need for words from lips." The entire poem is vividly descriptive - I feel as if I am right there in the scene. You have done an excellent job of capturing these emotions in a short yet emotionally-charged piece. Great work!

[Shabeeh Haider]

I do try to fit every rhyme in such a way that it does not look as if it has been forced. Alicia, thank you for this detailed and beautiful review.

[AliciaB]

You are most welcome! Thank you!

[William Liston]

I liked this poem. Sometimes silence is the best "conversation" that two people can have. Nice work.

-William Liston

[Shabeeh Haider]

William, thank you. Glad you agree

[James]

This was very nice, the storm outside and a warm setting inside, just quite. No words needed when in the company of the right person.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Agreed with you James. It all depends on the person who is with you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like the peace and quiet of the couple who have the comfortable silence inside while the silence is shattered outside, and they just don't even notice.

sort of like a couple who love each other, while others look with disconcerted eyes, judging them to be in a relationship they all don't approve of.

j.

[Shabeeh Haider]

It is that sort of a relationship, Jacob. Thank you for your views.

[Lydia Shutter]

The contrast of the storm outside to the warm cozy scene inside was so lovely. I liked the rhyming in this one. Well written. Lydi**

[Shabeeh Haider]

Lydia, thank you so much for your kind words.