NOT A SINGLE RAY OF LIGHT (Ghazal)

 

Not a single ray of light in this dark and dreary night,

Gently open your eyelids, everything will then turn bright.

 

Be the moon that’s in my sky, be the hope that’s in my eye,

Come and drive away my fears come my dear and hold me tight.

 

One day when the stars will shine, can I come to make you mine?

I will tiptoe in your dreams; and our future we’ll rewrite.

 

When the night is at its peak, and my sleep plays hide and seek,

That is when I need you most, you can come and set things right.

 

Did I hear you call my name? Or is life just playing a game?

Like I feel I see your face even when you’re not in sight.

 

There is still hope in my heart even though we’re far apart,

One day you and I will meet, one day we will both unite.

 

 Every time you make me weep, I wait for that final sleep,

Will the tears roll down your cheeks as I sink into the night?

Author's Note

A "GHAZAL" is a urdu. persian and hindi form of poetry. It consists of couplets that are complete in idea and theme apart from the whole poem.
The opening lines rhyme and the second line of each couplet rhymes with the opening lines.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

WOW! WOW! And WOW! I must confess, I haven't been too crazy about some of the ghazals I've read in the past, but this one blows my socks off! I love that the form is completely invisible & it's all about the message here. You're stating this with such longing & sincerity, I can feel the deep desire to connect with one's beloved. I love: "be the moon that's in my sky" . . . and "when the night is at its peak . . . that's when I need you most" . . . and so many more lovely loving sentiments. I'm not a big fan of love poetry (it's usually filled with clichés) but yours here is original & vivid & touching . . . it shows such a true heart, I can't help but love it! (((HUGS)))

[Shabeeh Haider]

You do remind me that you are no fan of love poetry but I am honored and humbled by your response to my poetry in general and this ghazal in particular.
My present focus is all on ghazals though I haven't really posted much on this site.
Coming back to love poetry, do read my poem "If Love Was All" when you have time and thank you for your review

[θεά]

Very beautifully done. Pleasant and soothing.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Malika

[Lorry]

Beautifully captured Shabeeh. I think I like this Ghazal form, thank you for the introduction to it.
Love the entire feel of the piece, but the "Did I hear you call my name" line is a standout, only for the knowledge of remembering asking myself that very question before, and being sure the answer was no, you didn't hear it, you felt it.
Excellent write my friend.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Nemo, I am glad that you enjoyed this form of poetry.
And you are so right. the answer is no. I just felt it.
Thank you for reading and reviewing.

[Lorry]

You're very welcome:)

[Nina H.]

Wow. Absolutely amazing. Very heartfelt. "Like I feel I see your face even when you're not in sight." Beautiful!

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Nina for your kind words

[Paul Bell]

Well i quite like love poetry.
The more romantic, the better.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Paul, thank you

[Inject Positivity]

Beautifully and spectacularly penned!!!

How amazing it is the way you have captured your emotions throughout this write is simply magnificent... Love is beautiful and your poem attracts even a soul that has been broken so many times... How enjoyable to see someone putting their Heart's true feelings in a write...

I think you have Sincerely and perfectly maintained the form of poetry here... Lovely work...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[Shabeeh Haider]

Dhiman, thank you for stopping by and leaving this lovely review.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

In you, have I lost myself or have I gained everything this life could offer me?

This is another beautiful work, Shabeeh. I always admire the simplicity in your works. :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

To find your self lost in someones words or to gain something from their lines is indeed the ultimate satisfaction for a writer. Thank you for your very kind review. We all share a close relation via our ink

[Sami Khalil]

This wonderful write make you sink in romance and hopeful anticipations. Beautifully done and mesmerizing. Enjoyed till the last word...:).................

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you Sami, for your kind review

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome. ....:)))))

[Firemay]

WOW. That was very well written. I think that you got all the rhyming thing under control.Well done

[Shabeeh Haider]

Thank you, firemay for reviewing it

[Amber Lily]

I love every bit of this, it's so soft and sweet. And I suppose I should thank you for explaining the (GHAZAL) part! It never hurts to learn a new way to write poetry, so thank you for that as well. Great work :)

[Shabeeh Haider]

I am glad that you enjoyed this ghazal

[Jon Roggie]

Now, you have taught me something new. I honestly can't keep track of all of the forms, but to me this adds to the appreciation. This is a nice use of the style. The write feels honest.

[Shabeeh Haider]

Jon, thank you for your kind words

[Jon Roggie]

I tried to write one, but I don't know if it falls into the proper style.

[Shabeeh Haider]

I will have a look