All Alone

Working it into a song... I hope i can make it one someday

Here in the dark

I can't take

Remembering days

That have passed away

Out on my own

Fading away

That'd be the most

That my heart could take

Why did you leave 

Me behind

Thinking of you 

As I watch the sky

I can't move on

Not now

Memories of us

Tearing me down

Author's Note

Work in progress... Let me know what you think :)

Reviews

[Cœur]

Your rhyming is nicely done, it's not forced nor overdone. It captures the impact our own memories can have on us. I must say though, it could have been a bit longer and more descriptive. Overall, very nice. Good job.

[Kasutama Sho]

We might have bad memories in our lives but we can't erase those memories. Those memories are important to us as we decided to take another path that alter our fate. It's an interesting poem. Thanks for sharing this poem full of values. Keep it up in the future !

[mou]

really most precious gift called 'memory',is never fetched ..nice work

[Anindita Janhabee]

NICE WORK AS WELL AS NICE BIO OF YOURS,,, GOOD COMPOSITION OF THE POEM , ALL ALONE, SIMILAR TO THE ONE ''I AM ALONE'' WHICH IS WRITTEN BY ME..
KEEP ON WRITING AND READING TOO..

[HipsterPrincess17]

Oh wow! I think this would be perfect for a song!

Keep up the amazing work!

[savannah estrada]

i think you should keep it up this is a vary good start to a song hope to hear the finished product i bet it will be awesome

[Rosaliine]

This poem has some intense feelings portrayed in it. This is good work! Keep it up :)

[Aphy!]

Very nice. Like the flow of it. But I can't help but feel like it's...missing something. I don't know what, but I kind of had a "cliff hanger" moment.
But that's just my opinion hey.
Great job buddy

Aphy

[Coyote Poetry]

Here in the dark
I can't take
Remembering days
That have passed away

Out on my own
Fading away
That'd be the most
That my heart could take

Why did you leave
Me behind
Thinking of you
As I watch the sky

I can't move on
Not now
Memories of us
Tearing me down

"Now the dark clouds are holding on.
Your face tattoos on my memories
and I'm swimming in dark dreams and wishing for lost places."

I like the poem. I could feel the song. I added a few words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[zunie frost]

Love this...nice one..shadowkai