Feeding

Put it down on paper,
Take some deep breaths,
Feel the stress slide away,
All your troubles disappear.

 

Bullshit.

 

Who says these things,
Someone with no feelings?
Wait; perhaps with feelings.
for I have none.

 

Bury it all deep inside.
Feed on it.
Use it.
Embrace it.

 

Yes,

 

That works better.
It flows in my blood now,
It's every breath I take now,
My heart is fueled by it now.

 

Watch,

 

As it hurts everything 
I come near,
I touch,
I hold dear.

 

Look at the dead flower,
I just stopped for a smell.
Watch the grass brown at my feet,
I just ran in the sun.

 

Don't look in my eyes.
You'll want to, you know.
to try and understand.

 

It will end all for you though.

 

It will eat me
from the inside out.
Until then 
I'll feel it's thirst,
and endless need grow

 

In Me

 

Taking everything it can.
Ending anything with joy

 

To feed it's hunger.

 

Watch it burn Brighter
Till my flame
Goes out.

 

 

 

2008-Shannon

 

 

Reviews

[Bennett Logan]

For what it's worth, I know the feeling and I can tell that a lot of emotion went into writing this poem.

I especially liked lines 24-27. They stood out and were the most vivid images in the poem, and I'd be interested in reading more like that. I think that's where the strength of this poem is. You physically showed me this character in so much despair that he or she kills plantlife just by standing near it. The rest of the poem is fine -- it's just more explanatory. What hooked me, though, was one bold image.

If you're interested in revising, I think you could run wild with this. What other kind of extraordinary occurances could happen to this person? Dead birds and squirrels falling out of trees? Do children cry when he or she walks by? Okay maybe my ideas aren't any good, but you can see where I'm going with it. I hope my suggestions are of some use. Have a good one and definately keep up the good work.

[Pj]

I was slightly chilled...it was so powerful!
Absolutely wonderful!

[Barries Girl]

Incredibly powerful, dark and emotional.
Well written and wonderful

[.]

My first thoughts, and I usually try to rely on my first thoughts... are that it is either love or hate that is feeding away at us but at the same time feeling the thirst for it and yearning to burn brighter "until the flame is burned out". I know this, it is a very passionate write, regardless if I'm correct.
Ralph