Only you

I never thought

things would end

this way

Things left unsaid

Our relationship

crushed to pieces

Unbearable

your words stung my heart

"I don't hate all of them 

just you"

I felt my heart crack

just a little more

You were everything to me

Lately 

after you ended our friendship

that started three years ago

anything sad

upsets me so much

and all leads back

to my thoughts of suicide

I'm drowning in the waves of depression

only waiting for you to pull me out

but that's never gonna happen

instead

you just watched

and laughed

Author's Note

I lost my best friend isn't that great?! :'(
we just started fighting randomly these are the texts

Her Message:
No i hate how you compare me to other people and tell me that im turning into a hoe and that im trash i don't hate all of you guys just you because im starting to think you are just looking for all the bad things i do and then you yell at me like your my fucking parent and say how im changing and i think youve replaced me with Margaret because you always say well Margaret would'nt have done that or Margarets protecting me from Jade and if Margaret replaced me then you don't need me as a friend because all you're doing is trying to set me up to fail in my new school and not meet new people just so i can be just like Margaret even though you don't understand that I might change a little abd then you tell me who i shouldn't hang out with even though you never met my new friends and if you were my real friend you would be okay with the fact i moved and im just trying to move on

My reply:
(Her name here I'm not putting her name in itd just be disrespectful if i did) how many times do i have to say I'm not replacing you i could never do that! Never! you're irreplaceable but it feels like you're replacing me and it kills..... I never told you this but you're the only one who can hurt me the most in this world

Her Reply:
Well thats good to know cuz im never going to let you hurt me again I have to go to baseball

My Reply:
So this is goodbye forever?! Alright then let me say my goodbye before you shut me out completely:
I'm sorry for everything I've done wrong I promised never to hurt you or let you get hurt but i failed at that Ill always miss you, need you, and love you but you hate me now I can never replace you, get mad at you, or anything like that. Your memory will always be engraved into my mind sense you've made me who i am today you saved my life and you'll always be the person who hurts me the most and i dont know why but you just will. It kills me to tell you goodbye but it looks like you want to end this once and for all. You've replaced me and i'm just gonna have to accept that and the fact that you're gone forever. I'm sorry. I miss you, need you, and love you forever and always. Goodbye forever (Her name here) I'll always remember you and thankyou for all the memorys that i have to tell. I'll never talk bad about you I promise and I can never move on

I never did any of those things and if i did i'm sorry i never meant too I'm just frustrated that you left and never took me with you

I got ahold of her today but she said I annoyed the shit out of her and that i'm guilting her into changing

In other words
are friendship is gone forever

Reviews

[Helpless]

losing a best friend is hard...but sometimes going seperate ways is for the best.

[Leave me alone....]

awww im sooo sorry! it sounds like something that me and my friends were talking about. they said that i seemed depressed and they tought i was leaving them behind. truthfully nothing like that happened. i was just sad about my gecko.

[WynterPhoenix]

This is a powerful write. I'm sorry about your friend. My friends were the same way, though they never moved. One started hanging out with all the wrong people and instead of being a friend to her after that, I got mad at her and they were the only friends she had left and she changed so much because of them. It's different with another friend. We were friends since second grade and now she doesn't like talking to me because I "depress her" [ her own words ]. But you have to remember that people will change and if you really care about someone, there is always room for change. I've learned that you can't force people to stay the same and if you try, you'll lose them forever.

I hope things work out with your friend, because I know what it's like to lose your best friend and never talk to her. My best friend [ the first I mentioned ] is now married and has a daughter. We talk sometimes on Facebook, but I haven't seen her in almost a year. The only thing you can do really is be there for her when she needs you. She'll realize that you're the only friend that loves her so much that you would do anything for her. My friend was the same way and after graduating she got her daughter taken away and her husband was abusive. She called me after we hadn't spoken in two years and told me she was at the gas station and had no place to go. I dropped everything and was there to pick her up in 15 minutes.

I know I sort of rambled on quite a bit, but I thought it was relevent to what I was trying to say. Anyway, this is a great poem and it is going into my favorites =]

[FineFrenzy]

Powerful and I can relate to that. Such depression as the one you mention is...truly serious. And often, does not end so well. Broken heart at least.

[Allison]

Awh, I hope things get better. Great poem, good luck.