Letter To My Lover

A letter to my lover.

Dear Lover, 

Things have been so cold

Lonely nights in the bed

I miss your arms around me

Enticing me into bed

With your soft lips

Your hands running down my body

Touching the right areas

 

We get along during the day

While we work together

Side by side

Nobody knows about us

But lover where is the heat?

 

Needing your lips on my warm skin

Hands caressing each other’s bodies

Slowly exploring the world of pleasure.

 

Oh baby look at you in that suit

Working at your desk

Looking so dead sexy

Oh baby i want you so!

 

 

The heat in our affair is dying out

Why do we keep risking all of this?

Let’s save it tonight

 9 PM at Rosemary Hotel

Meet me there..

 

~Your lover 

Author's Note

I'll be writing another letter from the male later on.

Reviews

[EdgarLovecraft]

Good rhythm and over all well written

[Eagle Cruagh]

And the winner is:
The female got 25 reviews
The male only 17
Lets face it, females are sexier. Males
are dirtier, more aggressive, but the girls
know all about it.

----- Eagle Cruagh

[HardCoreReFusion]

It seems as though the female in the story craves an alternate reality where instead of being coworkers, the couple is so much more. I think we can all relate to wanting things in the real world that are either very difficult or impossible to obtain. Good job!

[Elvina CZq]

I can feel the ambiance of lust and crave. Romantically passionate.

[Gheeneil]

This was about employer-employee relationship, I assume. I liked the rekindling romance and passion. 'twas sexy. Keep writing.

[Devons]

A real nice slice of a life. Real. And real sensuous. If not sexy. I like the two-sided sense of this too. The feeling that is fading but still desires fulfillment. Good.

[Jinx's Heart]

Wow! Speechless! Excellent flow!

[TheScreamingSadist]

One problem I have with this:

You set it up so well to get the reader into the mindset just within the first two or three lines, and then disappoint with a broad description of the lovemaking. "touching the right areas" could have been a much more thought-out attention grabber. It could be more flirty and provocative, a more further in-depth description of what the right places are or how he touches the speaker or even what kind of feelings the speaker gets when he touches her there.

What you have is a prime example of "show, don't tell". You have the salty surface scrapings, when, if you work for it, you could have the juicy meat down in the lower levels. I realize that it's supposed to be in the form of a letter, but, you know, it's here to entertain. :D

Hope this was helpful.

[DareToDream]

I think you caught the very essence of the heated relationship very well. I cant wait to check out the male's version

[Seashell]

haa...Well done taking on this subject. I have often wondered what it would be like to be in this situation....pretty difficult all round methinks. You have described full well the desires and frustrations here. Great.
Thanks
Babs xx