Beat

the red breasted Robin's Heart

beats....

beats...

beats...

upon the bars of black ebony

until red rubies drip

from its heart red breast

 

and Time stops to weep

to its

beats...

beats...

beats...

upon the bars of black ebony

the ruby dripping Robin

Sings to the

 

beats...

beats...

beats...

Author's Note

Is there too much repitition?
Critiques are welcomed and appreciated!

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

I like this one. The interesting format and rhythm is very unique--this is the first time I've run across anything like it

[daydreamer]

Nicely written. the sacrifice and pain of Robin is nicely penned down. good work. Word beats fit well into rhythm of the poem.

[An owl on the moon]

You create a rhythm that takes us into the enchantment of the robin's world... and that movement and life are simply beautiful!

[*~*Butterfly Kisses*~*]

I loved this. It was a different taste for me and I enjoyed it. Nicely done.

[turning violet]

I like it< but there is still something I am hearing that you are not saying in this piece