Chapter Seven

“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

�" André Gide

Light crept surreptitiously through the shutters and I gazed at it, my cheek resting on my hand. The hands of the clock arched in obtuse angle at ten past eight. I almost cried. I had managed to sleep three full hours without waking. 

An uncomfortable morning waiting inside a gloomy office was swiftly forgotten as Sofia took me to all her favourite stores, to ogle shoes, try on dresses and overload ourselves with bags of olives, nuts, and fruit. I put dead bodies and missing divers out of my mind and basked in Sofia’s infectious good humour. We returned home to share lunch with Sofia’s parents and Luca, and surrounded by their warmth, my heart eased. My eyelids drooped and I found myself floating to my room and falling face down onto the bed. 

By the next morning, I felt more like myself again. I was eager to celebrate Ferragosto with Sofia’s family by spending the entire day at the beach. We were to return home for dinner and then drive to another beach for fireworks and bonfires. 

Strewn up and down the beach, the sea had discarded clumps of seaweed and shards of driftwood, the only remnants of the storm. I dipped my toe in the bubbly white foam and swallowed down the knot of emotion in my throat. I strode back to the patchwork of beach towels and smiled at Sofia unfurling a parasol. Luca’s parents and brothers joined us and we made a happy party. Luca and his brothers kicked a football around, joking and laughing. Giuseppe leapt up to join them and offered, I assumed, to show them a few tricks. I lay propped up on my bag and watched, Sofia and her mother talking beside me. It was strange, I mused to myself, I felt more at home here in a foreign country than I did among my own relatives and I didn’t understand most of what anyone around me said. I was relaxed, I didn’t feel awkward or left out. The invisible blanket of warmth wrapped around our entire party, myself included and for the first time in a very long while or perhaps the first time ever, I felt grounded and safe. I bit my lip and blinked back the tears. 

The afternoon whiled away in sunbathing, swimming, playing football, eating, searching for an ice-cream vendor and dozing in the afternoon sun. We piled back into the car, glowing and chattering happily, the sun still warm on our backs and my heart was brimming. We ate dinner earlier than usual, anxious to not to be late to watch the sun set into the sea. I eased into another swimsuit, pulled on a loose fitting crochet dress and chose my warmest cardigan. 

I sipped a beer and watched the sky blaze a fiery orange, mellowing to a delicate pink, the sun sinking slowly beneath the waves, before deepening to a tranquil purple. Music wafted to me chased by the shrill laughter of children. Anticipation suffused the air, contagious happiness rippling along the beach. Luca tottered over to me and thumped down beside me.

“Ah Jenny,” he grinned. “Jenny, Jenny, Jenny.”

“Ah Luca, Luca, Luca,” I replied, both equally inept in each other’s language.

He laughed and put an arm around me. 

“Me felice you are qui,” he enunciated, carefully.

I smiled, touched. 

“Anche io,” I returned, with one of the few phrases I had learnt. 

He grinned and clinked his beer against mine.

“Saluti!”

He stayed with me until the stars appeared and the bonfires steadily ignited up and down the beach. The crackle of flames and bitter tinge of woodsmoke filled the air. With the familiar rustle of the waves on sand, I felt transported to another world, surreal and magical. A group of men hailed Luca and he shot up, shouting greetings at them. I was left alone at our little camp but I didn’t mind. All day I had felt like I was sailing on a cloud, utterly free of stress or discomfort. 

“Hello.”
My eyes flew up, my stomach twisting. Gabriel stood looking down at me. I faltered. I was not prepared to see him again. I had avoided thinking about him. Seeing him reminded me of what I had been trying to forget: Vittorio’s dead body and Francesco’s continued absence. He smiled at me.

“How are you enjoying Ferragosto?”

I breathed in deep.

“I’m enjoying it very much,” I informed him. “I feel very far away from my life at home and it feels wonderful.”

“May I?”

He gestured to the vacant towels.
“Oh yes, sit if you like. I’m not quite sure where everyone else has disappeared to.”

He settled down, resting his forearms on his knees.
“Would you like a drink?” 

I handed him a beer, the glass slippery with condensation. 

“Are you here alone?” I asked.

“I came with Stefano but he and his friends were soon overrun by a horde of lively young ladies, so I decided to take a walk.”

I picked at the label on my bottle.

“How did it go at the police station yesterday?” Gabriel asked.
“Fine,” I shrugged. “Have you heard anything?”
“No, but I don’t think it’ll be long before the police confirm Vittorio’s death as murder.”
“Does he have any family?”
“Yes, a wife, two sons and a handful of grandchildren.”
“Oh, how terrible for them all,” I said. “I can’t imagine what they’re going through.”
I watched two boys race past us in matching swim shorts.

“Do you think the police have any suspects?” I speculated.
“I don’t know,” sighed Gabriel. “Apart from us, there was no one near the bay.”

My beer dropped to the sand.
“Are we suspects?”
“Until we’ve been eliminated, yes.”

I wished he hadn’t joined me, Misery and stress nettled me now.

“I’m sorry you’re involved in this,” said Gabriel, as if sensing my distress. “Interrupting your holiday.”
“It can’t be helped,” I conceded. 

His hand rested on my shoulder. I turned my head to look at him.

“I really am sorry,” he said.
“It’s fine honestly,” I brushed aside. “It’s not your fault.”
“But I took you to the bay.”
“Yes, but you’re not the one who killed Vittorio, are you?”

He looked away, submitting at last.

“Let’s forget about it for tonight, please?” I entreated. 

Gabriel readily assented and I offered him another beer. 

“Ready for the race into the sea at midnight?” he asked.
“Of course!” I proclaimed. “Though I have an image of myself tripping in the sand and then rolling unathletically the rest of the way into the water.”

“Are you always clumsy?”
“No, I wouldn’t describe myself as such,” I laughed. “But I am awkward.”

He smiled.

“I don’t think you’re awkward.”

I can’t recall what we spoke off, but I remember watching the waves continuously drag back and forth, the rhythm almost hypnotic. Tiredness tugged at my neck and my head desperately wanted to rest on Gabriel’s shoulder, drawn like a magnet to an opposing pole. My temple brushed featherlike against his shoulder, meeting the warmth of his body and my eyelids fluttered. 

“Ciao Gabriel!” greeted Sofia, returning suddenly with Luca, Giuseppe and Maria. 

I shot bolt upright and shook the fatigue from my head. 

“Almost midnight,” declared Sofia. “Time to get ready to jump in the sea.” 

She slid her arms through the straps of her dress and let it fall to her waist. I stood and I shrugged off my cardigan then shimmied out of my dress. I’d chosen a one piece swimsuit for tonight, assuming the temperature would be slightly cooler. I had been right. The cool air danced across my pimpling skin. I shivered. Gabriel unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall. All around us, voices rose in excited unison, counting down to midnight. Gabriel held out his hand to me. Smiling shyly, I took it, a shiver of nerves thrumming along my skin.

A cacophony of cheers erupted and suddenly everyone on the beach leapt forward, stampeding into the undulating surf. Gabriel’s grasp was firm and I ran unhindered by my own feet. We splashed into the sea until the water sloshed around our waists. 

Above fireworks whistled into the night sky, exploding deafeningly into bursts of yellow, pink and green, answered with appreciative exhales and awed gazes. We stood, our faces uplifted. The sea crashed into us zealously, unperturbed by the amount of bodies in their way. A wave barged into me so strongly my balance wavered. The gentle pressure of Gabriel’s hand on the small of my back steadied me. 

Five young men came tearing through the water chaotically, splashing and whooping. One passed close and knocked into me. I stumbled. 

“Hey!” shouted Gabriel, grabbing my arm before I fell. “Guarda dove vai, amico!"

The boy paid little attention to Gabriel, merely grinning and dashing off.

“Idiot!“ grumbled Gabriel. “Are you OK?”

I nodded. His arm brushed against mine and I was suddenly very aware of him, of the droplets of water glistening on his bare shoulders and toned torso. My heart spasmed. His eyes were fixed on the sky but, as if he felt my gaze, he looked down at me and then smiled warmly. His hand slid into mine. 

The fireworks crescendoed to a dazzling finale of colour and sparkle, flooding the beach with light. Smoke drifted hazily further out to sea, garnishing the air with incense of gunpowder. A few seconds of sudden ringing silence was splintered by cheers and shouts. The beach sprang alive with dancing, singing bodies, the bonfires burning brighter. Luca twirled Sofia around, singing with an intoxicating smile. Giuseppe had embraced Maria and was swaying softly to music only they could hear. 

Time slowed, drowning sound. I could see each bead of water suspended in the air, the flames from the bonfire swirling lazily, the waves tumbling languidly through us, the hold and warmth of Gabriel’s hand. I watched, as if in a dream, Gabriel reach out and clasp my waist, my swimsuit the only barrier between his skin and mine. He stepped closer. My hands rose and rested on his chest. A shaky breath escaped my lips. In the weak moonlight, shadows cloaked his face, but his eyes were bright and riveted on me. Pinpricks of nervous excitement melted into my arms and rocked my knees. His fingers released mine and cupped my neck, his thumb grazing my jaw. Desire surged through me and I longed for his kiss. 

“Jenny,” he murmured and I leaned in. 

His head jerked up, distracted by something behind me. I half turned. Blackness yawned perpetually, but the low hum of an engine tickled my ear. Gabriel’s hands fell. 

“You’re shivering,” he said, drawing my attention.

I had barely noticed my teeth chattering. 

“Let’s go back,” he said, sliding an arm around my shoulders. 

We left the others to indulge in a late night swim and waded back to shore. Cold and wet, I stomped up the beach, leaving Gabriel to trail behind me. I snatched up my bag and impatiently searched for my towel, forgetting Sofia had packed it with hers. I threw down the bag, muttering. Soft cotton settled around my shoulders. Gabriel wrapped the towel around me, his hands lightly gripping my arms, the heat of his body thawing my chilled back. 

“Thank you,” I said, quietly. 

I sensed his head lowering and felt his breath on my neck. My eyelids lowered languidly, my mind hazing over. His beard scratched my skin and his lips pressed a kiss to my cheekbone. I sank back into him and his arms encircled me. He kissed my cheek again and then my throat. Defenceless against such persuasion, I turned in his arms, my towel slumping to the sand. The flames from the closest bonfire rippled in his dark eyes, his damp hair curling like crinkling kindling. I gazed up at him as he seemed to smoulder in the firelight. He kissed me, a brief searching graze against my lips. I leaned into him. This time his kiss was fervent and disarming.