World in my eyes

In just a fragment of eternity

The world in my eyes blinked out...

The sapphire blaze in the sky huffed black

Every star burnt in the funeral pyre...

The lamentation of life cried out to the breeze

As diseased mother Earth sank to her knees...

I never knew such a crippling blue-hue

Until time's nonchalance robbed me of you...

You were the gold that trophied my soul

there's no corner of the universe my heart can solace...

To live a tender moment in sync

Consciousness became my weakest link...

Reviews

[icaros13]

Anguish and agony are in your words. Deep sorrow and fear of loss... So well written. Only you can use such excruciatingly beautiful words and imagery to express such pain. I love the way I can so closely relate to this piece, as all estranged, displaced lovers can. Lovely write, dear poetess.

[...]

Trinkets! You give us trinkets of you :)

[MOON]

Great write , deep poignant love the lines The sapphire blaze in the sky huffed black
Every star burnt in the funeral pyre...

[Michael X]

Possessing the silver glitter of poetic expression then tossing it in the air,
each sparkle is a word that invokes a sense of meaning and dazzle,
as the craft of the flow expresses heart in the depth of a sorrowful
longing that controls every part of the meaning, intently great work ^_^

[Eve]

well, I think it's wonderful, actually I am in awe of everything you have written so far that I have had the honor of reading, stanza two is just breathtaking, stanza three seems to be my theme for the day. I like the aabbab rhyme structure, though I'm not really sure you are aware of doing but it seems to just come so naturally to you...amazing write!

[Eric Cox]

Awesome. An excellent write of well penned poetic imagery and content.

[An owl on the moon]

What a vast expanse is this sorrow... leaving no place for peace... no moment of release... Your words bring to light the life of what was.. the brilliant glow that has now faded to darkness... All that lingers is the essence of memory.. and how memories can agonize a soul in mourning. Your poetry never disappoints...

[Perdition]

We are poet's of action, you and I, doubt does not become us...lol.
At any moment in time you must believe your words are the greatest ever put forth and so they become just that...first in trickle and then in deluge. Storm by storm will find you and your words capture the way you receive. You are an incredible talent.
I take this fragment of world you have written and put it to that lens of time and I find it swirls like an iris topography. The velvety blush and hue rising from the great white ocean all but forgotten and it's focus reveals the soul. This is this poem alone.

[jessdixon]

Really strong imagery. I love the emotion in the third stanza.

[Ramya]

This is pretty good writing. Morose or not, I love the usage of words, especially these lines:

"The lamentation of life cried out to the breeze
As diseased mother Earth sank to her knees...

I never knew such a crippling blue-hue
Until time's nonchalance robbed me of you..."

Good job!