Anywhere else

Still likely to be revised and expanded.

A crisp scraping fills the biting cold air,
A man is shovelling a path clear of snow
So that he might amble where
He plans to steal peaches from over the fence
****
A sickly woman tends to her summer fruit
Shaping and struggling to shear peach trees
With more-rust-than-steel secateurs.
A bee tries to wrestle its stinger out of her arm
Failing that with a drawer of guts pulled open,
Dead nerves registering nothing new.
Bird-song and scampering sing with the sun
-brighter now than before for the blizzard just begun.

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Hi.

I read in your profile you are a neophyte as were we all at one time or another. If you don't mind an older man's suggestions I've learned along the way (and am still learning) it can be helpful to your lines to set the stage in the title so the reader immediately knows where and who.

For example, instead of Anywhere Else mayb Anywhere but Here In the Snow.
Then you can sharpen and reduce your lines because the cold and snow is already explained:
A crisp scraping fills the biting air,
Hector shoveling a path.

FWIW
Winston

[William Kremer]

That's a very good suggestion, for whatever reason titling has always been a weak point for me, it's carried on from naming any of the music I've written (albeit most of that was with throwaway intentions; being predominantly instrumental).

I'll definitely pay more mind to being a little more illustrative with my titling and a little less opaque haha.

I appreciate your advise, taking the time to read and review Winston.

[William Kremer]

Also, I try my best to remain a neophyte.

[W. Barrett Munn]

You might look at the poem titles of James Wright.

[Kady R.]

Hiii William!! Love that you did a poem about the seasons. Something about the snow🤗🤗🥰🥰. I really enjoyed reading this poem. Thanks for sharing

[William Kremer]

Thank you, my job is very very much coloured by the seasons, and at the moment we're doing the transition work that falls between autumn and winter which can be a very liminal sort of period of time.

I appreciate you taking time to read and for leaving a review.

[Kady R.]

Anytimeee🤗🤗🥰🥰