LOST TEARS

Tears are simply the raindrops of the storm within us..

They fell, visible for those caring eyes,
but amusing for the hateful.
Clinging onto that shred of pride,
you turned away trying to rebuild the dam,
with bits of your sanity.

Running the back of your hand,
over that endless stream.
The hurt more emphasized,
with each passing second.

Leaving those judgemental eyes behind,
for the comfort of your solitude.
Finding yourself in front of your mirror-self,
watching the pain swim in those bloodshot eyes.

Sparkling glass hovering in the air,
your fist met your reflection.
Pulling away your bleeding hand,
all you saw was the mangled person,
You were choosing to become.

Author's Note

Your reviews are always welcome..

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is excellent. I love the blending of metaphors, starting with raindrop storms as tears and going on to the fractured mirror and bloody fist as a mangled person. Sometimes when people use multiple metaphors, it can seem confusing or disjointed, but your message flows well from start to finish. Your expressions are original and your descriptions are vividly stated. Good job! The last 3 lines create a very intense word picture.

[Neeru]

Loved the poem , shed a tear or two!!!

[Chris]

Some break that mirror in their mind's eye... others do it quite for real. Healing has a price and credit cards aren't excepted...

[Cameron Berry]

I enjoyed this piece. You created a definite mood of pain, and the consequences of such a path. You used metaphors effectively. Nice.

[Gina]

I loved this a lot. You really have a refined, sophisticated way of writing. It is beautiful. Keep up the excellent work!!

[matrixmark]

So the first number of lines really struck as a chord with me.' Amusing for the hateful' this line was in particulary hard hitting for me as it reminded me of someone who i used to know getting bullied. I was the only person who ever stood up for him.

Lost tears - an emotional piece.

Mark.

[Lauren Nicks]

Worded very well :) Flow was good and the feeling behind the words were strong! Good job!

[Abraham George]

Crying also good to clean eyes. please take positive always

[Isabella Ivy]

This is deep :) I loved, 'mirror-self'. As simple as it's put, it implies a person can be different than who they view themself to be. I like! I.I.

[MadWaffles]

Nice I like it. It is original and not to complicated.