Erosion

Stones sway

melt away

in the path of the wind

that takes them to sand again-

 

Upon the shores of the river near

a few steps or more from our door

where the mountains once loomed

they now sink slowly

into the landscape that surrounds

this farmland-

 

Flattened for vegetations growth

the soil there to root upon

once mighty

majestic peaks

now slinking slowly down

to the ground

that surrounds us.

 

 

Reviews

[Damian Alan Gray]

I agree with Arthur Henn in that this poem is brimming with metaphor, and it is done with the greatest finesse. Beautifully written with imagery that all but impels the reader to breathe the scent of wildflowers, I believe that it tells an inner story of a love grown to full maturity. This is an exceptional write that can make even the coldest of hearts warm again. This poem is just the medicine that my heart needed.

[J.P.O.et]

Ah yes I love the way you convey this and I
fell myself getting this 'sinking' and 'slinking' feeling
as I read this . Well put

J.P.O.et

[Arthur Henn]

Beth, don't laugh at me. But I'm seeing a image of metaphors as a message here. I had to read this three times, I think this is a great poem that stands for its self and can take the readers mind into different directions if they really look into the imagery of this powerful poem of love.

This is what I see

The first stanza I see you telling us of a love brought together.

melt away
in the path of the wind
that takes them to sand again

The second stanza I see the mountains that hid this love from each other as a man and a woman growing up knowing they were both on the other side separated by valleys of rough terrain and mountains. Through the years of yearning for each other, they grow to love each other more. Learning who they are and accepting what they had as a gift to bring them together.

Upon the shores of the river near
a few steps or more from our door
where the mountains once loomed
they now sink slowly
into the landscape that surrounds
this farmland-

The last stanza I see the love has grown into matrimony and what separated them for years has become the back drop of a majestic word of farmland that has flowed off the mountains rooting the young of their children into a wealth of land that was built two generations before.

Flattened for vegetations growth
the soil there to root upon
once mighty
majestic peaks
now slinking slowly down
to the ground

that surrounds us.

Ok...lol with that said if this is way off from what you was writing about I'm very, very sorry.

Art

[Raja]

Dear Beth,

'once mighty

majestic peaks

now slinking slowly down

to the ground

that surrounds us.' This, according to me, is main grabe of attention. I like the enormity to be subsided one day and that is clearly pictured by the 'Peaks' that you have used. And the flow of language also is sound. It did not keep me waiting till I reach the last full-stop.

Regards

Raja