A letter to myself

Dear Me,

I feel you and I see you.
I see what you want to become.
I see how you want to burst out from the cage you're incarcerated in.
You want to fly.
I see that.
Your inner self sees that.

She’s just so afraid right now.
She’s scared to make a decision.
She feels guilty�"guilty that she will be the one to cause so much pain, just so she can be happy.
She hates to hurt people.
She loves so deeply that the deeper she loves, the more she knows she’ll be the one who ends up hurt.

You feel like you’re letting yourself down�"
Like you should have done more, been more, become more.
Like you’ve wasted too much time being quiet, obedient, and small.

Now, you have a dream.
A dream to grow.
To be something.
To become someone again.

But it feels like the corner of a tablecloth slowly slipping off the edge of the table�"only to be pinned down, unable to fall free.
It feels like you’re being crushed, like a nail under a hammer.

Is this what you want?
And even when you know the answer, your guilt makes you obedient.
It makes you stay.

Slowly, he sucks every breath of life out of you�"
Until you become hollow.
Empty.
You become no one.
All your hope, wants, and dreams… stolen from you.
Buried underneath his watchful eye.