Can of Snakes

Her smile sproutly sprung

at me like a can of snakes;

She never put the snakes

back into the can.

Reviews

[Alice Poésy]

You're quickly becoming one of my favourites on here.

Straight to the punch, just how I like them. "She never put the snakes/back into the can." So few words, yet so much to chew on. How often we're so blinded by the smiles that we don't see the forked-tongues in their mouths.

Also: I need to commend you on the sibilance in that first line. You, sir, have a way with words.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you very much, I thought you may have liked this one.
I love using consonances, dissonances, alliteration, and etc..., so thank you for noticing that. I really am glad you had enjoyed it Alice.

[Pushkar Prabhat]

well........who can?
none have escaped alive to tell the tale......
awesome write....
i loved it!!!
:)

[sinNsincerity]

Hehe thank you Pushkar!

[Sultrysoul]

Oh the trap of that sly smile

[sinNsincerity]

More like a Spanish Fly trap =D

[Sultrysoul]

Lol....good one I like that

[marcus]

Ah, you have opened Pandora's box, my friend

[sinNsincerity]

More than once too!

[....................]

Love the simile and alliteration... sometimes we want to spend a life time opening can after can of those smiles... nicely-done!

[sinNsincerity]

I can most certainly spend eternity looking or searching for that smile!
Thank you so much FT!

[JayceeC]

This is such an unexpected simile, so now my smile is springing too. The analogy is almost startling, but It's not an analogy I'd use on a date. Snakes and girls have not mixed well since Eve...lol

[sinNsincerity]

That's so awesome! Yea, I just wanted to display her smile in a way that stood apart from the others.
Hey, I'm probably afraid of snakes than most women hahaha =D too funny!

[Lucia Morgan]

great metaphor and vivid image. i absolutely love short poetry that captures life's little gems and you do it well.

[sinNsincerity]

When I saw the smile, that is what came to mind... a can of snakes hehe
Thank you so much Lucia, your words are highly appreciated.

[Lucia Morgan]

haha fair enough. but, whether you meant it or not, i thought her smile could be a metaphor for love/relationships/infactuation in that her smile is contagiously poisonous...that he was "bitten" by her smile and can never forget it aka doesnt put it back in the can.

[sinNsincerity]

When I first met her I made it more than just a smile in my mind. This is actually the second poem I wrote about her. You can read the first one named, "Ten Seconds...," if you like. All my poems are in alphabetical order. That poem will display more of what you speak of.
She truly is a great person, has a huge heart, and is a rare soul that I haven't came across in such a long time. We happened to grow up in the same neighborhood, but didn't know it till meeting in our new city. Everything is perfect about her in my eyes and heart, but she has a child. And don't get me wrong, I don't hold that against her. I praise her for being a single mother. I've dated single mother's before... I just don't want to complicate her life just for my selfish needs. I just want to be the best possible friend that I can be to her and If it goes beyond that, I would love for it to happen on her terms or behalf. I respect her to the fullest and I am just happy to have met her and spend some time together.

[Lucia Morgan]

good to know my hunches arn't totally off. thanks for sharing!

[wordman]

so she is forever smiling at you

[sinNsincerity]

In my heart she is... =D

[Jamestown]

Well done!
Clever little piece we have here:)
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so bro!

[Coyote Poetry]

A can of snakes. I hope the paper ones. Nice vision create by your words. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[sinNsincerity]

Yea like the joke one...

[Coyote Poetry]

I did like this one.