Make a Wish

I have a fountain of quarters

In my heart from

All the times I've played love.

Each time the screen read

GAME OVER!

Forever hung over

Forever I hunger

Forever I plunder

Into the depths

Of the fountain

To be left alone with

Infinite wonder...

9

Reviews

[Tashida]

Man for real you need to copyright these analogies or better yet let me steal some cuz they are seriously sooo creative. I really love your style of writing: the way you say stuff without flat out saying it. It makes for a more colorful piece.
That aside, if this is based off of real experiences, I hope you find a girl soon ;) You deserve it :)

[sinNsincerity]

This website does copyright my poems for me and I have had some of my poems in print by some publishers. And I have actually had some people on here demand that I sell them some of of my poems so they can can claim it as their own, but the never want to pay up.
I'm glad you love my style. I do try my best to make it my own and to stand out from anyone.
And thank you, I pray so as well, but at the moment I'm not looking for a women because I'm so caught up in getting my degree, but if it happens it will happen.

[Tashida]

Yea I get that... And it WILL happen (i got a feeling lol):)

[The Purple Witch]

(applauds) This is amazing, dude. :) This poem speaks to my very soul, one quarter at a time. lol This captures longing and wonder of what could have been perfectly.

[sinNsincerity]

Now pay me jk

[The Purple Witch]

LMAO :D

[EcstaticEuphoria]

I can't tell you how much I enjoyed this piece. How accurate the feeling, how true. We that are cursed with romancing minds that keep getting thrown back to the fountain. Awesome representation.

[Asya Kardzhaliyska]

I like the analogies you use of love being a game, it's very poignant. The only thing I would recommend is to add some commas here and there, but that's only a suggestion!

[Sarah]

Well done. Love is, unfortunately, often played as a game. The quarters and game over made me think of a pin-ball machine for some reason...my ball always wound up down the shoot first!

[Maple Ellen]

Such a beautiful flow! You've created such an image of how love seems to work. Bravo.

[CherryEllie]

nice. i liked it. nice use of that imagery of the fountain and quarters. keep it up! :)

[Poetic License]

What amazing imagery! I love the use of the quarters at the bottom of the fountain.

I also love how you used these lines,

"Forever hung over

Forever I hunger"

I love the segue from hunger over to hunger. This really spoke to me.

[Hebe]

Great imagery.... the game of love, well written and so true !

[Rynn]

"I have a fountain of quarters
In my heart from
All the times I've played love." - this opening was absolutely catching. It was new and very beautiful.

"Each time the screen read
GAME OVER!
Forever hung over
Forever I hunger
Forever I plunder" - I really love the word choice, playing on the alliteration a bit and just the overall construction of these lines. The tone is a mix between bitter and nostalgic.

Overall, I like the length of it. The tone and feel of it are things that I can relate to. Is there a reason for the 9? At any rate, I really enjoyed reading it, thank you. Write on.

-Rynn