Rum is for Drinking not Burning

I walked the plank and stumbled into your sea of a heart.

Shackled and chained.

"Any last words?"

-She offered with disdain.

Yes, just the last you had spoken unto me.

"Rum is for drinking not burning."

Red as the sea,

The pirate’s life is the life for me.

She followed me through victory,

But you see,

She slept with one eye opened,

While I held the misfortune of possessing none.

My sight was aimed on her heart

And hers on the treasure chest.

The dismay of your betrayal

Has forced me to take my very last drink.

She has overthrown the ship

As Alexander did to Thebes.

You Thief.

F**k you!

Author's Note

Gothspel

Reviews

[Schatzi]

Hello Sin in Sincerity,

Here are a few notes I made while reading. Feel free to use them or discard them as you see fit. :)

My sight was aimed [at] her heart *Was is in the passive voice. Consider using a different word.

I hope this helps.

Your poetry is so raw and passionate. Nicely done!

Thank you for sharing!

Kind regards,

Schatzi

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for you suggestion Schatzi.

[1VJ]

I guess this pirate didn't look like Johnny Depp. :) Drunken escapades on the high seas. Cheers.

[sinNsincerity]

More rugged like Treasure Island's Long John Silver...hehe

[Ell.P]

Very very well written. I am not much of a poem person, and that is why I have to read your work multiple number of times. And i like the challenge of interpreting it.

[sinNsincerity]

That makes it much sweeter. Thank you for spending the time to read it Eli, I really appreciate it.

[Fahmida Mehreen]

"She slept with one eye opened,
While I held the misfortune of only possessing one."

Good lines. You are among the few whose writings do not normally miss my attention and I totally admire them. But to be honest, this is again another piece full of raw emotions but something seemed to be missing and the idea was a little disorganized. Maybe it was me who sort of failed to recollect it. And another humble suggestion: try to avoid the use of curse words in all your pieces. Some we write out of vengeance and it suits best. But at times, it only sounds wrong. Pardon me for saying this. These are your creations. You have sole authority over your brainchild. But, as a reader of your work I felt that maybe my ideas should reach you.

Good work and effort, nonetheless.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Fahmida I highly appreciate your thoughts and insight, but I did intend for it to be on and off as a drunken pirate would be; thus, the foul mouth in the end. And there's no need to be sorry, I really do respect your thoughts and opinions, but do know I would never write out of hate or vengeance just so I may take it out on someone else. I write simply for the pleasure it brings. To summon such emotions and past events into a poem is such a beautiful blessing to me that allows me to reach people all around the world such as yourself, so I do acknowledge that your ideas reach me and I take them into consideration as well. Thank you once again Fahmida.

[Jamestown]

Where's the rum?
Very clever writing,
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[sinNsincerity]

Waiting for you bro!

[JainieJane]

Hahhaha the the ending made me laugh out loud, simple yet emotionally profound~

[sinNsincerity]

I don't think there would have been any other way to end it hehe

[ManasaC]

Aye!Aye Captain. This is a very interesting way of putting the unlucky reality of fake reality.

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you for thinking so.

[Aventicus]

"Why is the rum always gone?"
-Jack Sparrow

[sinNsincerity]

because we drink it all...

[wordman]

very creative,rum and love

[sinNsincerity]

all that's missing is the bed.

[Valentine]

Eyes aimed at the heart, hers on the treasure chest. Neat line. Valentine

[sinNsincerity]

Thank you Valentine, I'm glad you enjoyed them.

[Wølfy]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PaqShTPlss

[sinNsincerity]

Funny song

[Wølfy]

Got to love Alestorm. A great pirate metal band.