Sandman

A poem from four weeks back, just got around to finishing the final touches. This is a pure rhyme scheme poem, which I've become rusty at since then. Know that this poem is rhymed before reading.

Gilgamesh of eldritch Yaldabaoth melodies of opaque lotus ragged flower of the desert’s flesh sand’s anchored vagabond calmness ominously carbon artefacts of entangled doppelgängers psychotropic philosophical monolith’s to the drifting shapeshifting dunes of ruminating reunions between the sky’s wildfire, and the hearth of serpentine earth desertification unversed in creationism soliloquy’s fertility drilling amaryllis upon the pomegranate avalanche of grains of sanity that graffiti gratifying theocratic cataclysms risen from the hieroglyphic photosynthesis of the burning vertebrae coercing curving scintillating exhilaration gravitationally ungracious aegis of the homo-sapien wastelands banded salamander diameter of ceramic catalyst whistling abyssal viscous alliterative invigorating stimulated assimilation to the patient wavelength of dusted inukshuk

 

Suffocating on the industrialization of the blue skyscrapers of windbreaker spires of vaporous penetration of heaven’s evanescence spiral silence violates the flow of universal hypothermic servitude to views luminescent illusionary rejuvenated by the inebriated breathing of steampunk umbrage symphonic symbiotic kilometres megalomaniac with reanimated Nirvana as I scramble rambling ensembles enshrouded in the soundless whip of wind’s ventriloquist precipitating the paraplegic totalitarian feeling of tan insanity reamplified geysers of chimera chariots that pull the weight of the world’s polymerization of clockwork’s apocalypse planewalkers that pulsate with electroconvulsing constellations coagulated cardiovascular hermaphrodite on the scythe of the moonlight’s ivory environment reaping equilibriums light, or nothingnesses prism to entice vasectomy’s molecular hecatomb blooming in the desert’s revenant

Author's Note

I very seldom reply to reviews, but I promise I read EVERY single one. I look forward to my next review, because it helps me learn. Even if it's just one word, I promise, I will be ecstatic to have the chance to hear what you have to say. Whenever you write something about my poems, or the themes of my poems, or criticize me it is not in vain. I will listen, learn and be thankful.

Reviews

[.]

Certain about you're still working on it. This is a good collection of words though. I'll review this once again when you're done. Keep going on, I know it'd be a very nice one.
Good Luck!

[R.J Calzonetti]

Thanks MC!

[UselessBlueprint]

This was a true burden to read. Say whatever you like about the form or purpose of this, but don't call it a poem. There a few word combinations in here that could find a place within a proper piece of poetry, but 98 percent of this assembly of words was valueless.

I've not yet read anything else from you, so don't take the review personally -- you might be a great poet and I just haven't seen what you're capable of -- but if I found this in a book I'd ask for a refund.

[R.J Calzonetti]

I guess this just isn't your thing then. Well, I have other poems in different styles that you might like more.