Unconditional Love

A girl looking for love, and finds the most amazing type of love: unconditional love.

The night comes and darkness overwhems

She is left to think that all is well

He just left, and yet she has peace

Mysterious Love

 

I want to know

That you will stay

I cannot help to think

Just how much you love me

 

The dawn breaks and brings new hope

She wants to have a heart that's whole

 

Author's Note

it's a song...e minor...triple meter

Reviews

[rubydreamer]

Hmm. Definitely caught on to the fact that these are meant to be lyrics. :) I like the feeling of confidence in the first verse. That sets a great mood! I have to say though I can't feel the point of this poem/song. It almost seems like it derailed and stopped at a road block or like it's just not finished. The title and the body don't seem to have much to do with each other... there isn't much of a story to follow. At first she seems confident in this love of hers.... then at the end it implies that she is longing and desperate for true love. It's incredibly conflicting and stops very suddenly. I really want to see where this goes! Maybe add more? More story, more consistency...?

Off to a great start!

[Jessica]

I liked it. But i also agree with the other two comments it just doesnt seem finished but i do like where your going with this keep it up!

[Andreas v.]

I'm with rubydreamer on this one. It's really good so far! You should add onto it a little more, though. I'm guessing triple meter is the same as three stanzas? I'm not a musician, but I think you should continue with it some more to give it a strong finish.

Rubydreamer's picture is AWESOME by the way :D

Oh yeah, and you missed the "l" in overwhelms, just to let you know :D