memories 1

thin fibers

she snaked them

deep into my spine

and switched

the current on

 

i caught a whiff

of bone burning

 

nerves destroyed

food without taste

even the two pounds

of chocolate cake

with buttermilk icing 

Reviews

[Eilis]

Once in a therapy session, I was asked when I last felt joy and it wasn’t until that moment that I realized I didn’t know what that felt like. This poem reminded me of the crisis I had after that where this scaffolding of realizations kept coming and I was left with not much but pervasive numbness.

When we are taught early through extremes and so much that it becomes the default setting it becomes hard to feel much. There’s a sense that there should be more felt (tasted) but the fact remains that things can’t be willed. The first two stanzas create a powerful image dynamic. First there’s a sense of being built. A deliberate crafting and second the helplessness that accompanies the pain. Perhaps the pain reminds that feeling is possible at all.

I appreciate that enormity of the last three lines and what they convey. That things that people often associate with joy or decadence or indulgence also have no power to undo the damage done by the training or even lend the much sought for relief. This was how I understood them, at least. It is jarring but well-representative of that space.

[SkinlessFrank]

Thanks for that. The lack of joy, or worse, not knowing what joy is, is devastating. It reminds me of this last scene from Fargo (3), which when I watch it makes me cry (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_k_awenqDg)

[Eilis]

I can see what you mean, thanks for sharing that

[SkinlessFrank]

Season 5 not 3

[. serah .]

-- the person who destroyed my nerves when i was still a child (and for years) was not sane... -- i couldn't taste anything for years and years and years...

-- brilliantly written, Maestro D. ... and it's infinitely comforting for me to find expression in your words... -- there's no better way to describe what pain and numbness are like... -- silence stabs but articulation brings some relief...

[...]

SF...I have read this a few times, and I still don't know what to say, except, this is really remarkably powerful writing. Stunning...seriously...

[J]

ohhhh -- our babies do that to us, don't they. it's as though we don't realize just how embedded they truly are until they get sick. really sick. and there you are -- left standing helpless, the fate of your universe completely in the hands of another. surely this is how it feels ... achingly raw. compelling emotions undone. stunning impact in so few words.

[Ed Hart]

i didn't get any cake, but i know resonance when i taste it

[Ladysue]

wow, this gets right to it..ouch is what came to my mind in that first verse..and then not to even feel the taste of sweet treats made for a very powerful ending. severed indeed! this is so very well written..it goes right to the heart of the matter..excellent..

[asdarkeyesclose]

'i caught a whiff
of bone burning'


i loved the reference to the cake at the end, so rich and decadent and unexpected as an image. all I can say is ouch. this is dark like all your poetry, but electric just like that current... fantastic.