N*****s

The baby crawled into

the plastic storage box

The lid closed.

It felt cozy there 

as he pressed

against the clear sides.

His mother did not hear

nor see him give a laugh

and a wave. She did not see him 

fidgeting 

and 

getting restless.

The baby marvelled at 

how the sides were so smooth

Even as he wondered in his

baby brain why his lungs 

did not fill. But no matter.

Every experience is new and unusual.

Why should this one 

be less different?

The baby shook 

and trembled 

and gasped. But without fear or anguish.

His sight began to dim 

and his mind

began to numb.

He thought about sleep

and n*****s gone

dry

Reviews

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

what a haunting effigy in darkness~ the innocence gone to air without air~ social nuances threaded through the first person response~ and gad that last stanza is a literary bullet hitting its mark in the mind of the reader~ shatterways~ your ability to create both a haunting scene and flesh it with reactive emotional nuances is damn strong~ chilling human uncoiling tale~

[Eilis]

I think the distant tone of this is the most notable part for me. It’s almost like we are observing some experiment in real time and powerless to do anything about it. But also the way it’s written makes me feel like I need to follow the thread of it with a rapt attention and in silence as though I’m in a Victorian operating theatre or science lecture where the detritus of human suffering is being displayed as some sort of infotainment. It’s quite jarring but also ingrains the powerlessness of so many things we witness in modern life but either choose not to act on or are powerless to act on. The way it’s written makes me think that that sense of moral ambiguity is important. That it is alluding to the detachment of much of human existence—whether that is a choice or a defense. Even the baby seems to display a detachment and powerlessness that is quite unsettling. He doesn’t fight or feel urgency just resignation. Almost seems like a resigned euphoria. Leaves me feeling a compilation of emotions I can’t exactly describe. The helplessness of it all resonates as we go through wave after wave of atrocity and inhumane action and environmental degradation experienced from a distance or in a position of powerlessness. The numbness and desensitization of 21st century life. It’s a powerful evocation of things I find difficult to articulate.

[SkinlessFrank]

I wrote this many, many years ago, at a time when my depression was the only lens that I could the world through. The sense of powerlessness that you refer to is very much the way in which I would interpret the world around me. Even blatant atrocities seemed no more than superficial. The world can wear us down like that if we let it. I love your reviews E.

[. serah .]

-- ohhhhh... -- this is excruciating... brilliantly narrated... -- from where i'm looking, this image tells me that when we don't know the world we're in, it seems new and fascinating... and if that world decides to suffocate us, we don't even realize what happened... -- our parents can't possibly protect us all the time... -- they're babies too... dealing with the world that they find themselves in... -- this piece moved me to tears, Maestro D. ... i'm relieved i haven't turned to stone... and i'm also reminded of how important it is to be sceptical... -- oddly, i feel empowered... i won't be in a stupor when i find my way back into the real world... -- maybe i'll do a better job of protecting myself... p.s. it feels like you were in tears when you wrote this piece...

[Frieda P]

The thought made me gasp and go limp...extremely affecting write.

[Jasmine]

I don't know what to think of this.... I enjoyed reading, and I sense it's really rather good, but I can't say what it means. I'll have to come back to it...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

How does one fear what one does not understand? This is why they say ignorance is bliss.

[kmartell]

entropy, death wishing and all the rest. rest assured the parents were not very pleased

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

Frickin' Wow! Not sure how to review, other than to say, simply stunning.

[roarke]

yikes.

[Samuel Dickens]

Really? I locked myself in an ice box when I was about two, and it turned out to not be nearly as much fun as I'd thought.

[Crowley]

oooooooo....damn that was a stab in the heart with a rusty butter knife. Graphic as they come but still laced with some truth that makes it palpable and necessary. Whew.....