Dreams of Nightmares

This is acually one of my first short stories I started but never got to finish, its about living without the person you love, and the pain it causes to live without them.

Forgive me, I have just started to write again, this is a new short story I am starting, usually when you have many things bolted and locked inside it sounds the best when it is the most exposed...

(I met this boy september 5th 2006, we were inlove until recently I told him I cannot be with him, because we are living without eachother, because to be honest, living without him was getting harder and harder to breathe. He lost contact with me, and we dont talk anymore and every f*****g day I regret the day I met him because I cant stand this world without him. I lost the only one I would ever love....)

And then it starts all over again but continues to rupture and boil every blood cell in my streams
And then it continues to start all over again, the explosion of this feeling and the reactions it causes to stream and cause a flood of imaginatory images in my mind.
My head that swirls and feels like a feverish sleep, only without the peace in mind of dreams, instead my thoughts are cold and wishless and inspite of everything I still sleep with you in my mind.

You sizzle your way into me all over again like cold thought that breathes in my mind but escapes with a breath deepened by lungs and let out by relief of you still being the one I adore and cannot live without.

Another night together, breathing your sultry smell and revealing you to me with my eyes that cannot seem to look away from you. Another night without you seems impossible to live with, another decade without the quiver of your stone cold hand under my shirt touching my warm silky back seems impossible.

But baby you exauste me, every part of me is spoiled by your lips and the way you touch and move, and the smile I memorize and your smell I can never forget.
I feel blank, nearly dead when you are around because I know great moments always come to an end, and I am sorry for being deserted like I am, and being so caught up in you I forgot about me.

Being dry and lacking of air when you're not around, being locked up in this reality nightmare without you only makes me dream of wishing harder and harder under the stars.

Everyday I wonder what it would be like if you were mine and I were yours, and everyday I will wonder that, because no matter who I have as a lover, no matter who I will marry-I choose you-a million years down the road, I will choose you, if I can choose again-I'd still choose you, but if we both move on and continue our lives together without eachother than I want to thank you from the bottom of my broken and regretting heart, for being the best first love I have ever had.

Author's Note

He knows who he is <3

Reviews

[Linda Stinson]

I too feel your pain, for I have found myself in the same boat. I think of it as my "no air" times. I just can't breathe. By the reviews I have read so far, I am in good company. Thinking about the "what if's" is overwhelming and possibilities endless. It is exhaustive work.

[Melissa]

Lovely. Extremely articulate -- those are definitely feelings everyone feels sometimes, and I think you expressed yourself wonderfully. There are a few typos ("breathing you're sultry smell" and "But baby you exauste me") that would make the piece more polished. Fantastic write!

[Chaos X 3]

i feel your pain. to love is agreat joy. to lose an even greater pain. awww... how we love to set ourselves for heartache.... we are a race of masochists

Good Job

-Dawn Marie

[Morticka]

Beautifully written. I am going through something similar at the moment, so I really feel this right now. This really makes me feel less alone, I can tell you really meant this. Keep writing.