Ribbons on the Lake

ehhh, messing around w/ rhyme

The sky is a deeper shade of gray

Right before the beginning of the day,

Right before it all sneaks in to say

This might not be

The beginning for which we pray.

 

The dark begins to shiver and quake,

Setting ribbons on a lake,

And through the veil the colors break,

And cross your fingers

For all at stake.

 

The sun rises so, so high

Like childhood wishes to fly,

And grandma's out-of-the-oven pie,

And catch your breath,

And pray this hope not to die.

 

And this hope not to die,

So high, and yet a fingertip away--

The beginning for which we make:

 

 

Author's Note

is the ending good?

Reviews

[Mercury Mirrors]

Totally love the ending. And the form is simple, but good. It didn't need to be formal & complex. ^^ Awesomeness.

[Dressed in Poetry]

I think you should add more, but that may just be because I like it. The rhyme is neat, and I love the first stanza to pieces.

[JC]

I think it's a great start. It does feel unfinished, but the meter is very good. I also like the subject and the title.

JC