Weatherman's Paradise

idk

Whispering clouds,

Rain falling like

Dancers’ feet,

And she wonders

If this is what he meant.

 

She lifts her hands

To the lightning in the sky,

Wondering if

Perhaps this is why

He’d said he had to leave.

 

She twirls and feels

The rain twirl around her,

Wondering if

This is how

The dancers in the snow globes

Feel.

 

Shadows fall overhead,

Thunder shudders

Like her heart,

And she knows

This is what he meant.

 

And she knows just what

And just why

He’d trade her for

The feeling of

Standing under the sky

In weatherman’s paradise.

 

Reviews

[Anima Inspired]

I love the imagery in this piece. Being a big fan of "water imagery", I like the use of raindrops and the way that they are related to the human form. I also truly enjoyed the part about dancing like the ballerinas in a snow-globe...an image that i had never really seen before. There were a few parts where I think the language could be tightened:

She twirls and feels
The rain twirl around her,
--the use of the word "twirl" twice is a bit of a stumbling block...maybe keep it in the first line and find something else for the second...possibly "spin" or "float"

Overall, a great read!