On the Edge of a Suncast Sea

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the Edge of a Suncast Sea
By: Adam M. Snow

 

My lady, awake thee heavenly beams,
and lay thee rest upon my dreams.
Let it be known thy once tearful sorrow,
and let it be known our demise the hour.

 

"Away will I take thee." says I
"Away I take thee and never die."

 

My lady, time cease as your tear drop falls;
the grass of green, now is blackened by thee tears.
Lay your head upon my breast,
close your eyes and forever rest.
Let it be known as thee shed emotions,
you're never alone when you cry dry tears.

 

My lady, forever I mourn of thee,
standing here on edge of suncast sea.

 

http://amsnow.webstarts.com

Reviews

[SilentDreamer]

First off-I adore that picture. I love the feel of this poem and a few of the lines really stood out for me. I think my favorites were the bit about the grass which just seems so vivid and descriptive, and the last two lines which tie in so well with the picture. All in all a great peice.

[Adam M. Snow]

Thank you

[TL Boehm]

a bittersweet romantic write.

[MOON]

Lovely , picture perfect write.

[sharonlee]

Gorgeous pic & poem combo. I like to add my art to my poetry too.

[Freedom's Child]

Great emotion and the imagery kept me in the poem. The flow was slow for me which worked really well with the emotion. Great work.

[Jazmen]

this is beautiful. and very sweet. nice work, friend.

[Rhianne Ney]

the poem is really Shakesperean are you his female counterpart? Joke (:
the poem is full of hidden and meaningful. I want the way it was written very expressive good points...

[VelvetRosetta]

Love the usage of your words...you painted a graceful image with your wording as the image you chose for this piece.

[Adam M. Snow]

Thank you

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

This is what I call beautiful poetry ^_^
You did a remarkable job!
100/100

[Adam M. Snow]

Thank you

[Emily Dickinson Jr.]

omg! absolute gorgeous poem! It locks you right into a story I feel as if Im there! The way you structure the words brought us right into olden times and what a beautiful time it was!!! The picture is really beautiful as well and plays right into the poem!

[Adam M. Snow]

Thank you

[UnendingOceans]

The elizabethan-flavor is something I'm not used to, but I enjoy it. However, I think you run into a wall, even if just a little one, in the third stanza with "... let it be known as thee shed emotions..." The imagery is pretty good, I just don't think "emotions" sits right with the rhythm you've established to warrant it's inclusion.

Hope this is helpful,

UnendingOceans