Woe is Me

Woe is Me
By: Adam M. Snow

The dawning of an ageless night,
Starts with fear of love's delight,
Calling upon a vespertine heart,
Soon to fail and fall apart.
Broken tears now laid to rest,
My sorrow tears know what's best.
For my ghost shows pity for the lost,
With final dreams the only cost.

Lest I forget the endless sorrow,
Coming close, the forsaken morrow,
Melancholy of my one desire,
Burning sensationally like a fire,
Waking from a lonely slumber,
No dream should I encumber.
My destiny awaits my fate,
Feeling no love, only hate.
My ghost awaits the world to see,
One thing on my mind, "Woe is me."

Woe is me' indeed,
That's not what I should plead,
Even a broken life can be whole,
But only time can heal my soul.
It's time to bank, not stoke the fire
'Melancholy of my one desire'
For melancholy is a permanent affliction,
Or black bile which lies in the constitution.
Do I slumber here,
In my chamber as night draws near,
Alone with my worries, wanting to die,
I sit here watching time fly by.
What I suffer is dejection or rejection,
A temporary affliction from which I can be set free
From sadness and the plea, 'Woe is me.'

Reviews

[justice]

This is good. The difficult part of a rhymning and metered poem is the consistancy. There are a few lines throughout that just seem a little forced to continue the rhyme scheme. For example: "With final dreams the only cost." It is just an odd sentence that seems inserted to further the scheme. I get the idea that you are trying to convey throughout. Very nice write. One more little detail thing: "My sorrow tears knows what's best." I think that "knows" should be "know" if the tears are doing the action. If not, then the sentence is worded weird. Just a little thing. Not a big problem. Overall, a very nice write that I really enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing this and keep on writing! All the best.
J

[deeps]

Perfect rhyme and perfect flow.
Use of puntucation Perfect.
You did amazing write here.
I like the emotion through this.
It's sad but well done!