Echoes the Day

Echoes the Day
By: Adam M. Snow

 

Alone a man in sealed door,
Seldom spoke the words of bore,
Besought the world, the endless flutter,
With words vivid his tongue would utter,
"Who am I the world berate?
Lonely being of pure slate."
Spoke himself reflection shown,
"I be king of land alone."
Spoke himself reflection shattered,
People laughed with stones they battered.
Contemplate the giving king,
Expire life in new born spring.
Dreadful the forgetful past,
Many gathered, all in vast,
To hear the king speak once more,
Opens now the chamber door,
Approach the ledge for all to see,
He proclaims, what is and will be.
The people rant, the king goes on,
Open lips fell words upon,
No starry skies within his realm.
"But I alone not overwhelm."
The people ranting, mocks the king,
They cursed and rant as they sing,
'Kill the king, deceitful one,
Purge his heart for what he's done.'
Sinister hoar decreed the flock,
Midnight's hour charms the clock.
Fury rage the crowd umbrage,
Demands the king gallows ridge.
The king pleads for mercy so,
Many people vowed death bestow.
Waged the blunt massacre disdain,
Of all his past once tainted plain.
The people spat and dragged the king,
They cursed and rant as they sing,
'Kill the king, deceitful one,
Purge his heart for what he's done.
Shun the king for all his wrongs,
Into Hell where he belongs.'
Wandering noose upon his neck,
His feet dangled bit above the deck.
Door open, his body fallen,
For all the life he had stolen,
His legs kicked until all is still,
Crowd tainted by untimely ill.
The king essence now laid to rest,
The valley people now danced and jest.
Woken in chambers limp and numb,
Twas a dream of what yet to come.

Reviews

[Jazique]

Wow what a dream. this was true poetry for every word rhymed so perfectly as flow of story that happened in the mind. I wish to say more but, all I can say is well done as your poem has left me without breathe in its greatness.

[Joshua Donahue]

The lines had some wordiness to it, which made you think about the poem for a second. The poem had a nice concept, and the story was very captivating. I enjoyed it very much. But like someone else said, the rhyming scheme seemed a little forced though. But still great! :))

[Daytonight]

The poem is really great but the rhyme feels a little forced to me. Thanks for sharing this one with me. Great story in the poem! Love the last two lines best! Keep on penning.

[Farrah Grahm]

I really love the last line. Great payoff. That being said I saw one thing that distracted quite a bit. To accomplish a rhyme in some places you rearranged the subject verb in a grammatically correct but awkward manner. It detracts from the impact of the poem. Although, the rythm is great. So maybe you can afford to sacrifice your existing ryhme pattern. Overall. I really like this. Very powerful

[Awdures]

Really epic poem Adam, have you been reading and or watching a game of thrones? It kind of reminded me of that in a poetic form. Great write

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful story in this poem. To kill a King would take many and a lot of hate and dislike. I like the way you told the story of the king and the event of his death. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote