Once Upon A Time.

Once upon a time you loved me.

A word you said,

once upon a time,

it was so sweet,

it was so kind.

Then you turned

you walked away,

I felt so alone,

so astray.

My heart was broken,

you had torn it apart,

you had said you loved me,

said it from the start!

So why did you leave?

Was it something I said?

maybe something I did?

you never did say!

I'm on my knees,

I'm begging you to stay!

I'm crying, I'm helpless,

I need you, babe!

You're my everything,

I don't know what to do,

without you, I'm lost,

I can't make it through.

You're forever gone,

but I still stand,

waiting for you to come back,

to hold my hand.

Reviews

[Samantha (:]

I really like this, and find that it's easy to relate to. It has a great flow and rhythm about it, which is always good when it comes to poetry. One flaw.
"A word you said,
once upon a time,
they were so sweet,
they were so kind."

You said 'a word' but then refer to them as 'they'. Talking about a singular item plurally. If you were to change the first line to 'Those words you said.' It would flow much better and be correct. (: Besides that little thing, great poem and a real tear jerker!

[AloysiaVerben]

I like this. A lot of people can relate. Good work.

[Steven Cetta]

This is a wonderful expression of heartbreak. I've been there before and I still at times think about it.

[Heather D]

Wow. I felt like you were speaking for me. Very honest and very powerful. Full if emotion. Great job.

[cfix]

I can say I can relate to this write.
I like this, the feelings are well expressed.

[steph]

this poem brought tears to my eyes,,, its very bittersweet

You're forever gone,
but I still stand,
waiting for you to come back,
to hold my hand.

the best stanza in this vearse

[Midnight_Mystery]

wow..i love this. cant totally connect with it. another great poem! :)

[hannajade]

I really like this, very sweet! It goes along so nicely, :)