Broken

Our culture is rooted in dishonesty

We can't help but defile

any semblance of honesty that we have

left as a race with every

fake smile forced onto an

innocent child's face,

A child who will grow to take 

a parents place and every insecurity

that they didn't care to break.

When to speak, how to speak
and when to leak a meager breathe

out of those ungrateful little lungs.

How to plunge into the depths

of your inevitable success,

an endless abyss of s**t, 

greed and piss.

Reviews

[The Brooklyn Nomad]

wow I like this one, good stuff. Real social commentary that gets to the heart of it in poetic form.

[SonOfaSailor]

Thank you :)

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Wow loving poem and deep and beautiful!

[SonOfaSailor]

Thank you!

[Valkyrie Warrior]

Your welcome! It was meant to be "Lovely" rather then "Loving" :p

[1Disawsum]

Very true, meaningful poem in a way. I liked it anyhow.

[a]

Very powerfully said, I really like this.

[jcfrancis]

I would echo the glowing reviews you have received and add only one suggestion: use a different word when describing your abyss. endless abyss is a bit redundant. perhaps a more unique word to describe it. try to think outside the box and use a word to describe the abyss that you would not typically use, yet is applicable. hope this helps!

[SonOfaSailor]

Wow thank you, I didn't notice that at all but will hopefully find the time for a revision soon

[Dee]

Simply put yet extensively descriptive.
love this piece. :)

[SonOfaSailor]

Thank you so much :) Seeing these reviews put a smile on my face in the middle of a stressful day!

[Vanesa Markovic]

An honest piece about the vulgar nature of dishonesty.
I could not agree more with every line.
Your anger is perfect.
I cannot find a single critique.

[SonOfaSailor]

I don't want to be repetitive, buuut thank you so much! Lol. I never expected such a positive review, but I also haven't shown anyone a lot of my work.