Peace upon the River

Rushing past, flickering spray

Flowing, swirling, a sudden eddy of calm

Roiling droplets fly, flecking the banks

Liquid crystal, smooth and clear

 

Willows leaning down, fingers caressing

Reaching to smooth soft mist upon clear waters

Pebbles rolling softly over the riverbed

While the current murmers a quiet song

 

Light low in the sky, golden streaks

Orange glow, folding into clear water

Sending dancing warmth across the river

Peace flickers, then settles, slow, still.

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

What do you think?...This is a new edited version, with quite a few lines changed. If you want to see the old one, message me and I'll send it through.

Reviews

[Jenthura]

Peace flickers, then settles, slow, still. Absoballylutely favorite line. The rest is poetic imagery, which has a nice ring, but seems cliched...slightly. Scraping + pebbles, seen it before. and then the bit about willows and water kissing the grassy bank. try something no one has ever used before like...um...willow fingers...caressing...no, massaging...no...Y'no?
Actually, you did better than I could. Keep writing! Oh, and the title is eye-grabbing.

[Jaffa Forbes]

This is really good, you're good with imagery which is always a good thing :) Yep really like this a lot. It's nice to read something which isn't so... erm, depressing? Really good.
Jaff :)

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

A lovely poem. I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[JC]

Just the title makes the soul stop to rest...

This is simply beautiful in its description, meter and subject matter.

My only suggestion on the format is that you seperate the first two lines.

Kudos,

JC