DarkStrangePlace

I cover my face in sheets of white in hopes the light will wash off on me.

I can't close my eyes again not in this dark strange place

With arms all up and tied and nightmares before my eyes,

I cover my face with sheets of white

In hopes the light will wash off on me.

But something stirs in the air between

me and my lost hope, it would seem I'm alone

But that something lingering in the air pushes down

it weighs like water in my throat and I feel I'm drowning

But I take a breath of fresh air and courage

lasting no more than a second as I meet the face before me

In this dark strange place before me.

 

Author's Note

I dun know >< I really like this though, any thoughts?

Reviews

[Voice11]

Not one of your best but still very unique

[Bud]

Another Excellent piece, Aveira! Keep up the Outstanding works of art.

[Georgia Gypsy]

I really like this, there is such emotion....my only thoughts are with the sentances being so long it feels rushed to read it...have you tried spacing it out more? with only a few words per line? to cause the reader to pause and 'feel' what is going on?
by spacing it a little differently you can expand the sense of hope or hopelessness.......
its only a suggestion:)

Remember it is always up to you.....i am only a opinionated pushy person...LOL....
let me know if you change it.....:) just so i can see what u did...
^hugs^
GREAT PIECE HERE!!!!!! I always love your work!