Untitled 13

I get to live again today
Struggling against defeat from yesterday's burden
The clouds are still dark anyway
I must prepare for the rain that comes without a warning
To STAY and FIGHT they all tell me
But i am overpowered by invisible demons
That they don't know and cannot see
Still I am doing all my best to move on
I get flashbacks of bad memories
I'm unable to remember their stories
But I feel the pain they brought then again immensely
They torment me night and day intensely
I wonder if I'm addicted to sadness and misery
Because to me,happiness is an unraveled mystery
It feels like I have been programmed to self -destruct
And may know no peace till from the earth i am subduct
Till then I get to live life taking it one second,minute,hour,a day at a time
Like the chores of a convicted prisoner
Of a crime