The Devil's Waltz

I'm not looking for spectacularly good reviews. I wrote this for me, because I'm randomly having one of those days. It was kind of a good concept, at least before I wrote it.

if i made a deal to go back to your arms
nothing held unsaid and nothing promised
being loved for just one more night knowing
the morning brings requiem bells for us

you know i'd do it a million times over
fall upon the rocks again and again and again
every burning kiss washed away the thorns
each moment looking into your dark sparkling eyes

memories worth living for and dying with
second by second in a neverending waltz and
trying hard to stop the clock from turning
warm nights into cold lonely days of rain

if i made a deal with the devil tonight
what would you say when i came running back
would you take me in your arms screaming
and i can tell you tales of this hell

you know i'd give it all to you if you asked
i can see but can't see you
i can hear but can't be heard
hear me before i fade away

Reviews

[La Belle Musical]

Well, it was, average to say the least. I'm definitly not a big fan of no punctuation what-so-ever, it helps the reader add dramatic effect. Your concept was solid, but your execution was, I'm afraid, rather poor.
I respect that you did it for you, God knows half my sutff's like that, but I think if you polished it, it'd be fantastic.