They Never Tell You....

Taking things day by day.

The thing they never say about “healing” is..
How choosing good feels like a battle.
How after years of being hurt.
Mind, body, and soul, no respite at twenty-four years.

Then suddenly, three years of light,
And now the dark feels familiar,
safer even?

So you fight with yourself.
two halves at war,
one reaching for better days,
one pulling towards devilish deeds.

You want to be good,
to honor the love that chose you,
The love who saw you at your worst
and stayed,
a lighthouse burning steady
amid the darkness encroaching.

The urges roar louder now,
like another voice has entered,
tugging, tearing,
body freezing, 

Can you hear the static too?
waiting for a sign,

waiting for input.

Just breathe,
hold tight to empathy’s soft flame,
to the scent of Dragon’s Blood,
to the things that keep you grounded.

Be kind to yourself and others,

And even when the fight feels endless,

you choose,

one step, one breath, one second,

to be better,

because you are worth it.