Ours

such a longing 
  for so, so long,
so, so deep. 
so many, so many, yet
  so nothing.

they've gone now
  behind that marital veil,
never to be again, but 
  I was there.
my love was there, 
my all was there,
they knew of 
  that love.

the love, my love, 
the depth, the sincerity 
  of my heart.

the way I felt
to be around them, 
the things of my
  attraction;
their face,
their hair, 
their smile,
eyes adoring 
  from afar.

the play of my heart,
thoughts, always 
  thoughts.

those times
  known by them,
inside, silent, 
two stories, 
always two stories.

she was there;
I held her hand,
we talked, 
we laughed, 
we shared of
  ourselves,
we shared 
  goofy things, 
things only 
  we would know, 
remember.

nothing will ever 
  be shared,
it's just ours.

in the silence 
  I realise it's 
  all mine, 
nothing lost,
the things I
  remember, 
they’re mine,
somehow ours.

frozen in time ....
broken pieces of
what could've been.
that was our time, 
things between us,
shared, just us. 

those pieces, 
those feelings, 
those sights, 
those meanings,
all are in me.

they were there, 
do they remember?
easily forgotten.

moments 
  not to be shared again, 
no-one but us,
it was ours
  in the moment, 
to me, those moments
  were 'ours.'

a look,
a word,
a heart revealed,
a knowing,
a hand held,
that moment,
we shared that moment

do they know, understand?
and yet
  they'll never know 

............
     ............
          ............

pages, individual writings,
never more beautiful than 
  at that moment, time. 

somewhere in my silence 
  memories not lost,
they are 'ours'
washing over angers,
rolling, breaking 

............
     ............
          ............

a hug, a kiss maybe,
memories of my heart,
a shining in the dust,
to hang on, hang on
to those!

those times remain 
  in me, part of me, 
forever my memory


r.m. 2024

Reviews

[Lisasview]

Hi there,
Interesting to read this… Moments shared are whispers in our memories and only within us.
We can never really share these thoughts with others. They could never grasp exactly those thoughts as they are ours…
So much pain felt behind your words,
Lisa

[Richard M]

Hi Lisa

Thank you for reading and your comments.

Pain? Immense! Incredibly frustrating and humiliating when you're brought up 'mainstream', but none of the mainstream understands your need, which is the exact same needs they need/needed. If I don't talk, with all this inside, no-one can say anything, dispute anything, no-one can speak against the heart. I don't understand the offence in disability. After all, aren't we all disabled?

Hope you're well my friend?
Richard

[Relic]

This is heartbreaking to read, Richard. The length of the poem shows you really cared and want to show it to anyone who will hear.

This is emotionally sad but worth the read. Your sentiments can be felt with every line.

[Richard M]

Thanks Relic for reading and commenting. It's just a better way to look at a bad situation.
Hope you're well my friend?
Enjoy your day :)
Richard