Lucid

Deep seated apathy
Shocks the nerves numb.
Lead weight in the bones,
Leaves an ache in the thumb.

It's hard to gain knowledge,
And it's hard to feel joy
When ghost chains of yesterday
Plot to drag you down in their ploy.

I've always been lonely,
But I've never been alone.
The watcher spies on my brain,
And whispers how I should atone.

Knives feel like a sharp drag,
Of a cigarette I should've put out.
Echoes water my memory garden.
Chaos sings to stay off route.