5th wheel - 2nd instalment

2nd instalment of this story in the format of diary of a wimpy kid. Generally aimed at adults - with some more adult themes.

Sometimes, we'd go to play golf at the local 9-hole pitch and putt.

We were banned for 6 weeks for stealing balls from the driving range. It turned out that it was true when they said it was dangerous to step out while people were hitting balls.

We were allowed back though and on our first visit back, Chris joked about BRAINING Mike and went to pretend to hit him on the back of the head with the golf club and actually clubbed him for real.

We called it a day when we saw blood and called Mike's mum to pick him up. The rest of us walked home feeling pretty awful.

He bounced back fine though. A few stitches and he was as good as new.

That was AFTER his little joke with us though �" the b*****d.

It was a time of prosperity in the town too. And how better to show this than by building a new 20 lane, 10 pin bowling complex?

The throwing of heavy balls. Aggression taken out on some innocent pins… what was there NOT to like?

So going bowling, Mike used to make out he was most comfortable with the heaviest ball. None of us believed him though. We thought he was putting it on for show. It weighed 25 lbs. I’m sure this was unrelated to his head injury.

We could kind of tell he wasn’t wholly comfortable with it because we could see veins throbbing in his neck when he tried to carry the ball.

But I guess sometimes, people try to make out they are something they are not �" like Italian.

Our suspicions were proved correct one time when the only 25 lb ball he managed to get had small finger holes.

His thumb got stuck when he threw it and the ball's momentum dragged him half way down the lane.

 

We were kind of hoping he'd go all the way and get a strike with his whole body. Unfortunately, he didn't. We’d love to have seen him dragged back through the tube that brings the balls back.

Mike was the kind of person who tended to exaggerate things. Or even brag about things he’d never really done.

More than just attention, it was the need to impress people. He was the oldest of 4 brothers who all looked up to him.

He gave off the impression that he could handle anything and nothing would stress him.

But having 3 brothers meant we could never go to his house for sleepovers as we’d have been be sharing with some KIDS.

Sleepovers were usually done at my house or Chris’s house. They were always good fun. We'd get into our sleeping bags and watch films or Manga cartoons.

These manga cartoons were always pretty racy with certificate 18 but still, getting aroused by some drawings on a screen felt wrong.

School was also the time people discover their sexuality. I don't know about women but for guys it's a time of extreme confusion and shame.

That goes hand in hand with acne, extreme sweating and getting embarrassed and offended by everything.

But the biggest shame usually came during evenings alone, filled with personal gratification. 

Well, the shame part came afterwards. Before that, the DEED seemed like an absolute must.

There were evenings where I'd lock myself in the toilet and my dad would knock on the door asking what I was doing.

It never occurred to me back then that he was a grown man and I was an adolescent with a raging libido. Surely it should have been totally bloody obvious and he should have known that a male teen sometimes needs a little time to himself.

Actually though, my mates and I ALL felt so utterly disgusted and appalled by our solo action that we would try to give it up-We never managed.

This one sleepover though, we had to laugh at Tom when his enjoyment of one of the Manga cartoons in particular was on show for everyone to see in his sleeping bag.

As with Mike, he had been saying that they were ONLY CARTOONS and they couldn’t be sexy.

Thing is, when it started, his face changed and he very much looked like he didn’t know how he should be feeling.

It wasn't just him though. All of us were the same. We were just better at hiding it.

For my birthday one year we went to the cinema. Chris got us in to watch a horror film on his fake ID. The scariest films I'd ever seen to that point had been Jaws and The Incredible Melting Man - film that had been voted worst film of the year.

This film we watched was a lot more modern. We all liked it but we were all glad to be sleeping at my house. It is still one of the best birthdays I've ever had.

That's not saying much though. Although people like to celebrate their birthdays, I never saw the point in celebrating the one day of the year where you reach a milestone that is officially closer to the day you die.

Also, it feels like forced attention. This is your birthday so we must pay you attention.

You don't ask for it. It just happens.  I don’ t like pretending that.

We also used to go play snooker in the snooker hall. We'd see Ben and Aiden from our class there quite a lot. We knew them but they were not really our friends. Aiden was the class clown.

It looked like Ben was the only person who could actually hang about with him for more than a few minutes.

Aiden was funny, but more often than not, he was funny-weird more than funny-ha ha. Sometimes both.

We once had a dress down day at school where we could wear what we wanted and Aiden came dressed as Frank N Furter from the Rocky Horror picture show.

Everyone found it hilarious except for the headmaster who made him change into clothes from the lost property box.

Some of the clothes looked like they’d been there for years. There were some breeches and a WW2 gas mask in there.

They also smelled like they’d been in there for years.

People found that even funnier but everyone stayed away from him because he smelled musty.

I was never brave enough to do anything like that. I was part of a group and that came with responsibilities.

People used to call our group TACM. We were the TACM boys, pronounced Takkem.

It was made up of our initials. Tom Anthony Chris Mike. TACM.

Other groups tried it too but it just didn't work for them. Like the group Trevor, William. Arthur Terry. They even bought initialled T-shirts.

Same with the girls Fiona, Andrea. Nina, Natalie and Yvonne.

End of segment

Author's Note

This is one of the main parts i'm not sure about. It jumps from masturbation to sleepovers to birthdays to snooker to dress down day in quick succession.... I'm not sure if it feels disjointed.
I think mainly the jump to birthday and then to snooker and dressdown day. Just wondering if it feels jerky

Reviews

[Hunter Lewis]

You're right, it does jump. You could [maybe] rearrange the order and put masturbation last. That's how my nights usually end. The quirks and the quips are its charm.

[Sromag]

Thanks Hunter.... I think you're right... i might put a couple of parts before the masturbation part - but i think i'll also stick in some paragraphs to connect events - and maybe expand on the main character's point of view.....
Appreciated. :)