Kind of a vent/ poem?

No matter how hard I try, or how much time, effort, and genuine work I put into everything, I'm going nowhere. Every day, I come to school to make you smile, To make you laugh, to make you happy. But you haven’t noticed, you haven't cared, you haven’t realized how badly I want someone in my life to hug me, to help me when I'm struggling, to protect me from people, just to give me actual love,  And I wouldn't want any other person but you to give me that. But I give you hints, flirt, sing in front of you, even when I don't want to, and try to make you realize that you are one of the only people who can make me come out of my shell… But here I am…

Author's Note

Sorry this is bad, I wrote this in 5th grade.

Reviews

[emipoemi]

Bad!? This is amazing!! You're only missing a couple of words at the end to really cement the kicker. Something like: "But here I am......and you are not". Or maybe it's the point to cut off mid-breath in the final bit like that. I don't have any other comments. It flows stupendously and is a brilliant piece of writing. Speaks what it needs, pleads with the subject. I got no real comments beyond the one minor critique. My voice is in my awe! Well done!