I can't do this

I can't do this
Either way
And I know I shouldn't
Shouldn't keep you in my head
But I don't know
If I should keep away

But I think
It's because I'm scared
I don't want you hurt
I think I understand
Maybe I do
Just not prepared

In a way
I want you here
Hold you in my arms
Become friends again
Forget that happened
Just keep you near

But then I want you gone
So it's better
For us both
Make it harder to clash
Grow away
So as to not become bitter

I can not see a future
Where we are any more
But if I had the chance
God, I'd say it
How I'm distressed
That out painting became all torn

I miss you