Opened the envelope unaware of what was inside
Nice font, pastel colours and kind regards
Had to read it a couple of times for the words to really sink in
An old friend was getting married and I didn’t even know that he was seeing anyone…
Stunned into a strange place of memories, some bad and some good
Was the past finally catching up with me,
Or was my life beginning to fall behind?
I remembered motorbikes going the wrong way up the One Way
Just to speed in between traffic to the Off Licence before it closes
He would brake only for the beautiful girls or for the old ladies
He was king in the YMCA and the coat hanger of every crap party
He’d suddenly grab my arm and say that we should abandon this crap and ride away
He was my weakness and he was my strength
We went everywhere together…
But never there.
I couldn’t understand the invitations intensions
Was it the olive branch or something else, something special?
One last chance fling before the proper road sinks in
I hate that the adult me is thrown into teenage turmoil with just one line to twist
He was the past that once suggested a future
And I’m not so sure that I can go back there
As it’s taken me so many bloody years to get here.
Thinking back to record sharing and the smell of his collection
Motor oil on his fingers and then on everything that I owed
His brain couldn’t contain my drunk words that were so overwhelming
I’d joke and pull a stupid face to pretend that I wasn’t serious
But inside my soul was swearing at itself for finally sharing
We started to drift apart and we never really discussed it-
It just happened.
So now I stand with the warm wishes letter that was also enclosed
I’m not sure what to do about something that was once too important to lose
I’ve now read the invite about six or seven times
And I still cannot read between even one of those f*****g stupid lines
Cannot seem to react to this as it was probably intended
So I think that I will just send a good luck message and nice vibes on the day in question
It would be too strange anyway
I’d drink too much through nerves and awful adolescent lust
And declare the most unpleasant slurred detailed love
“If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together– let them speak now or forever hold their peace?”
I finally scream, “I do, I do!”
So I file the letter away in my special little draw with other things from back then
Like the key rings, plectrums, yellowed cuttings and worn out receipts
Place the paper down directly opposite to items belonging to the earlier me
Closing the drawer, I wish them care in my memory so they should sleep for the future.
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