A letter for my dad

My dad's been under house arrest since november and he'll be going to jail on june 18th and i just had an urge to write a letter and post it on here for some reason.

Where have you been dad? There's so much you've missed, I've gone through pretty much my entire freshamn year of high school and 3 break ups without you. I'm not expecting you to understand why this is such a big deal but seriously these have been the times i've needed you the most. I can't stop thinking about all those times you said i'll always be a phone call away, and i never used them. You always said, "if something comes up and you need to talk to me i'll drive right up, and hell even if you're just bored and want to talk to someone i'll talk to you." i can't tell you how many times i could have used that call since all this s**t has come up. Dad i miss you. I miss you so much.
I never told you this but your house was my get away from the "real world". It was that get away from all the stress my mom and mr. Pete and school. I knew at the end of those 2 weeks i'd be right back down at your house and the stress would melt away again. Now it's been 5 months and i havnt gotten a single day down there. I can't telk you how much stress has built up on me.
Yeah i have some ways of getting the stress away, mainly music, playing guitar (which i've gotten pretty good at), and hanging with friends (and i promise no drigs or any s**t like that), but that stuff just doesn't work nearly as well as being down there with you.
But thanks for the letter, i was really excited when i got it. And you kinda threw a curve ball when you said you take all the blame for the confusion in my life. But hey, everything happens for a reason. That's what i keep thinking, that and "s**t happens" (that one i got from you). But yeah, honestly you don't have to take the blame for it. It's no one persons fault, and really you can't blame any of this solely on yourself. Well maybe the s**t that's come up lately but i really can't say anything about that quite yet ecause i don't kniw what's going on, but everything else, it's not your fault, everything that happens happens for a reason. You just gotta set it all down and know in your heart that it's God plan and you can't do a damn thing about it. But just remember it'll all turn out for the better whether we know it or not, it'll be for the best.
But yeah, you probably want to know what's been goin' on with me for the past few months, and honestly not a heck of alot. Schools been doin' good. I didnt make honors toll second and third semester sadly but i did get a 2.88 both semesters which is good but im trying my hardest to get honors roll this semester. I've been doin' really good in sign language, you'd be pretty impressed with how much more i've picked up and how much more fluent i am in sign language. I'm starting to teach Grace too so i have someone to sign to. Oh and yeah i've picked up guitar. i dont know many songs and the ones i do know are really easy. The songs i know are drive by alan jackson, let her cry by hootie and the blowfish, and i'm yours by jason mraz. I really need to learn some new songs... Oh yeah and the break ups, well first there was Katherine, then Falon, then Sammie. The break up with Katherine was kinda weird, it was a little out of the blue and she just told me that she was kinda starting to lose interest in me so we broke up. Then Falon, i asked her out on New Years night just as the ball drop (well not exactly it was like 30 seconds before but close enough) it felt weird cause she was in New York so i had to do it over text, but it was still pretty cool. So we went out for 2 1/2 months and then she broke up with me, she said we lived to far apart and we didnt see each other enough, which i guess i understand. And then Sammie... That one was confusing... So i asked her out on a friday, everything was fine, nothing went wrong, the on wednesday she texts me just before second period and says we gotta talk. Now not 5 minutes before then her friend comes up to me and says "sam's gonna break up with you later so i just thought i'd warn you." so when Sammie texted me i knew what she was going to say. Anyway i replied to her and said "listen i know what this is about so no need." so later that day i find out she's now going out with some kid named Kyle. Now just the week before maybe 2 days before i asked her out she told me she had givin' up on Kyle and if he asked her out she'd say no. Now she's breaking up with me to get with him. Is it just me or does that make no sence? Now Kyle's all freaked out because he thinks i'm going to get someone to jump him (which i find hilarious), but seriously? Getting someone to jump him? That's just sad. If i was that mad at him (which i'm suprised i'mnot not) i'd just fight him myself (which has crossed my mind a few times but i havnt done it). But what i find the most hilarious is Kyle thinks he can beat me ina fight (note: Kyle is probably 4' 10" and looks like a modern day leprachaun...). But yeah odds are i'm not gonna fight him although i'm mad as hell.
But yeah that's all the stuff that has happened in the past few months. Oh and mom had the baby if you havent heard. It's a boy and mom and mr. Pete named him Benjamin. So yeah i got another baby brother.
I miss you like crazy dad. I'm always thinkin' about Nashville and Florida and just chillin' down at the house. It'll be back to normal at some point though. I just hope it's soon. I love you.