trust.

Trust.
sometimes i wonder what trust is about. i wonder who i trust. and i wonder who trusts me. i went back a couple of months ago, in my other journal, to the entry about secrets and confessions. and i noticed the change from the year before [as i did when everyone commented] ... last year it was "i fear nothing, i have no secrets." and this year... my god. i read things that, even right now, make me worry and want to cry. there's so much i want to say to everyone who did, so much. but i don't know how. and i know it's too late, to be relevant. but back to the point. i see something in those posts, and i see it as trust. these people trusted me enough to tell me these things. sure, they were anonymous, but still. that takes trust. i don't know. i don't know what i'm rambling about. i'm tired and my brain is not functioning. or its in overdrive, trying to process all the information of the past week. from the guy, to Brittany, to those replies, and all my own psychological deficiencies ... my own over-thinking. over analyzing. trying to figure everything out. and god, do i. i know i do. but it's me. i want the answers. the answers that don't exist, because nothing is real and nothing is known. but still, i want some comfort in the things that aren't the way i like them to be. simple. i want what people use religion for. religion and faith. i have faith, but i can't use it as an answer to the ... relatively impossible questions. i use it as something to give me hope for when i die. so, i don't have that to answer those questions, so i figure them out on my own.or try to at least. and i come to my own conclusions. which are fifty-fifty right-wrong. and this weeks load is a bit more than i'm used to. a bit heavier.

Reviews

[Mr. Lopez]

I liked you ramblings of trust. Most people don't practice but know the definition of this word. I trust myself to behonest to myelf and others, so that when my head hits my pillow .....only in me I trust.