Sitting, waiting, hoping this feeling goes away

Sitting, waiting, hoping this feeling goes away
Praying that this will somehow become normal
There is a child growing inside of me
Because I was trying so hard to prove Him right
That I could love him
And hold him
But how can I tell him the truth
I never dream of him
In the shameful darkness of my subconscious
I am never with him
Always The Blue Goddess haunts me
Clawing her finger nails into my sides
As I let out a gentle sigh of relief
And this will forever haunt me
Trying so hard to let it go
But she's dug in too deep
With those piercing grey eyes
And those scarred wrists from tragedies
He is just a man
With lies and false tales
Chaining me to him like a prisoner
Because God forbid I leave him
He'll kill me if I try
So I sit here
Staring at the moon
Feeling my belly grow
And the child grow with it
Sitting, waiting, hoping this feeling goes away