Metanoia

"written 09/12/19"

I use words to water the seed of mind
That plant trees with fruit for life
With roots to revive hearts paralyzed
In soil beds of field paradigms

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

Hi sultry. You've got a promising idea here. A metaphor comparing the power of words to influence the mind with the growth of a plant. However I'm afraid I don't get your last line.
Regards.
Alan

[Sultry]

Hi Alan, "a person's paradigm is how they see the world based on all the information that they have gathered and the beliefs that they possess." The Field paradigm is, in essence, a rediscovery of a truth we once new, but have forgotten over time. Basically I was referring to the roots existing in the soil of someone's "field" or mind if that makes sense.

[alanwgraham]

Thanks Sultry. Yes I can see what you're getting at and I think it's a promising analogy. Ive recently written a poem called the tree of life which is also based on a metaphor. Also worry that readers will not get it and I suppose that the only test is the feedback.Personally you have to be wary on WC because you rarely get positive feedback even when there are glaring errors. In your poem perhaps it would help if you give a note to define Metanoia which I didn't know myself. I still feel your 'field paradigm' ref feels a bit clunky. How about following through the tree metaphor ie
Line 2- to take root in the stony soil of life
3- tender shoots to revive hearts ....
4. to bear fruit for life
I hope you don't mind my take on this. I know myself that I've had some helpful comments here.
All the best.
Alan