My Salvation

I still love her but wish she knew the pain I felt
At my lowest in life to my knees I've knelt

Being the catalyst for the greatest gift received
Realizing now of my years deceived

On the edge, wishing for death
Begging to have my last breath

My body trembling, my brain overloaded
My heart gone, long since eroded

No courage to end my nightmare
A sliver of hope, straining to find a care

A tiny voice emerges, whispers in my ear
Don't fret child, for you have nothing to fear

Let me in and I'll take it all away
Falling to the floor, I begin to pray

Heal me from my life's sin
Fix me first from deep within
Raise me as a newborn child
No longer lost in this wild
Teach me the proper way to live
Show me just how I begin
Rid me of my worldly desires
Let it be known all that you require

Finally we've met at the crossroad you set before me
No more procrastination no more ignoring

I humbly offer this broken shell
Asking you to fill this empty well

Rededicating my life to my creator
Leading me towards something greater

Your will, your guidance I give myself to thee
No longer in pieces, for you'll complete me

I shall stumble and falter
But I know I'll find you at the altar

Sorrowful at my resistance
Thank you for your persistence

Reviews

[ThePaperPrincess]

An interesting way of describing finding faith, or serenity.

it seems that you got so focused on the rhyming scheme that sometimes you seemed to be more focused on that than the words and sentences that you were creating, and the flow falters at some points.

It's a start, with some editing and refinement I think you could have a fine piece.

[Sumo]

Thank you, you're right. I feel that way often in my writing. I myself don't like poems that don't rhyme. So I do tend to work more so on the rhyme. I try to fill the gaps best I can to fit the subject matter which hinders the flow. I appreciate your comments.

[Jeff]

Very well done. The flow is a little off, but I think it portrays a lot of emotion.

[Mariah Slade]

this is amazing . I've so felt this before. Life and love have a way of humbling you and bringing you back to your origins, your first love and for me as well the creator. How wonderful

[Sumo]

Thank you, I'm in a dark place and my writing helps me through it. Some of my poems are 20yrs old and I had never shared them until now.