Suicide Sabrina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdPnbhO_SX8&ob=av2n

Anorexic Annabelle
 With bones protruding,
her health is ailing,
body functions failing.
Baggy clothes,
to hide the sticks
you call your arms.
She gave into
the mirror tricks.
Close to death,
far from life.
About to take
the dying breath.
Nervosa Anorexia,
a scientific term.
A disease like cancer,
not caused by a germ.
Due to insecurity and lies,
little anorexic Annabelle
become sticks and bones.
Easily broken,
with a couple of stones.

Bipolar Bailey,
mood disorder girl.
Spinning through the days,
in a multi-colored swirl.
Depressive turns to manic
First dancing happy,
next screaming
along with music.
Rapid cycles,
stuck in her mind.
As times goes on,
she's falling behind.
Taking the lithium,
to reduce suicide.
Even with drugs,
she's lost inside.
Due to a little
"mistake" in her brain,
little bipolar Bailey
is screaming out loud,
trying to find,
her own happy cloud.

Cutter Camille,
of only fifteen.
You wouldn't believe
the things she has seen.
Cuts on her wrists,
and tears on her face.
Hiding her scars,
with ribbon and lace.
Razor blade symphony,
and roulette misery.
Self-harmer, abuser,
of the body she owns.
Tracing the patterns,
of sharp razor cyclones.
Due to loneliness and pain,
little cutter Camille,
has no way to cope,
but to slice open a vein.

Depressed Derek
Like most of the world,
he can't deal with pain.
A crack in his days,
and into depression
he becomes hurled.
Unaware of how,
he can take action.
Depression is a demon,
destroying your mind.
A disease, just like cancer,
eating up all good inside.
Derek is "different"
to his classmates and friends.
But he's just like the rest,
trying to make amends.
Due to a cause,
currently unknown,
depressed Derek,
stands in this world,
with no friends, all alone.

Alcoholic Alexander,
downing another.
Following the footsteps
of his deceased father.
Hangovers daily,
whiskey bottles scatter,
twinkling on the floor.
Remains of a battle,
fought in this long war.
Rum and tequila,
a beer or five.
Everyone is surprised,
Alexander can survive.
Bloodshot eyes,
and whiskey breath.
Drinking closer,
to the looming death.
Due to addiction,
alcoholic Alexander,
is trying hard to fight,
but there's no end in sight.

Druggie Deanna,
injecting some more.
She's lost at sea,
swept from the shore.
She can't even remember
how things were before.
Heroin, crack,
marijuana leaves.
Injection, smoking.
The method won't matter
As long as a high she achieves.
Jittery and lost in illusion,
the drugs are her haven.
Due to "just try it",
druggie Deanna,
 can't even quit.
Her life is broken,
more than a jigsaw.

Suicidal Sabrina,
standing on the ledge.
She got to close,
to that dreaded edge.
Staying skinny,
wouldn't work.
She still felt ugly,
with all her quirks.
A razor blade kiss,
made depression worse.
"The cat scratched me",
couldn't fool the school nurse.
Swallowing alcohol
didn't last long.
All the whiskey
just wasn't that strong.
Blowing her problems,
out in a smoke,
just caused her to choke.


Suicide Sabrina,
stands on a ledge.
The water below her,
feet close to the edge.
What no one else knows,
is she doesn't want death,
drugs, alcohol, self-harm,
beauty, perfection, or meth.

Suicide Sabrina,
wants to be saved.
She knows it was wrong,
the way she behaved.

Suicide Sabrina,
stands on a ledge.
She just needs a savior,
to help her crawl away,
from depression's edge.

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

Honestly, I thought that this poem would be a little corny at first because of the alliteration that is repeated throughout the beginning of each stanza in order to introduce a new personality, but I ended up being totally wrong and totally surprised by how engrossing and moving this was.

The poem is so effortlessly lyrical that it was more like listening to a reading of it or a song than reading it myself. It really flows easily. I found myself identifying with a lot of the personalities presented, as more about their life's situation was revealed in the concise little lines. I can't pick a favorite really, because each story was so good in itself: cutter Camille hiding her wounds with ribbon and lace, alcoholic Alexander following in the footsteps of his deceased father...those stanzas really stick in my head.

Suicide Sabrina was the penultimate personality in the poem because she sort of represented the culmination of all of the others' feelings, and her search for salvation hinted at their own. From the sensitive way that you wrote this and described all of the characters, I can tell that you really understand them in a personal way.

There are a few little grammatical mistakes like a misplaced comma here and there and the wrong form of 'to' used, so you might want to go back and edit those away, even though in all honestly it doesn't detract very much from the poem at all.

You ought to be very proud of this, it's good stuff =)

[WynterPhoenix]

Amazing. I love what you did with this one in the rhyme and foundation of the entire work. I'd love it if you added this to the Be The Voice group. This is one of my favorite's.

[Aurora Lynn]

....Wow. This was amazing. Not only did you tell the story of so many people around us, you made it rhyme and flow and truely poetic. This was amzing! I loved it!

~Aurora

[Kesha]

Omg this was absolutely amazing! I love it.. this poem tells the life of many people who surround us, they may have a smile but on the inside we are all dying..sometimes life can be complicated but you just have to remember that there are people who love you..

[brenda]

wow this is amazing i agree with all reviews just the feeling that you put it in each person its like a book the characters are true but the difference is that this characters life xist and is happening write now i love it
!

[CharlesMonroe]

Oh my gosh...this is absolutlly amazing...I love it. It tells so much in so little. Especially cause all of that is what teens are suffereing through everyday no matter the reason. The format was great, and the way you layed everythign out was perfect...I love thi.s. Amazing job (:

[Jess Holden]

Umph, I LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Alicia Hirshey]

I agree with Courtney.

[Spiral Panda]

It speaks volumes.