The Gift

Ever since you left
my thoughts
are inside out
magnified
multiplied
I see the small
the insignificant
in full relevance
instead of the battle
the rising fury
wrenching sadness
woes and me’s
falling the ideal victim
I see the extraordinary

How can I fall for hate?

I should be grateful
for the gift of something
even you
wouldn’t believe possible

Reviews

[Blossom]

Wow, Suzy!! "Ever since you left, my thoughts are inside out. Magnified, multiplied". Every syllable of these words resonates with me. I also read your comment above and I 'fear' I'm at the brink of something similar. Though it's not clear who's leaving. Or whether a leaving is unavoidable. As you can see, things, as well as your friend here, are muddled!! :-(
Oh, c'mon, Blossom! Focus! Great poetry, Suzy! :-)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

I wrote this recently as fiction, but like a lot of my writings, it's more true to life than I first admit myself. When my man turned into a complete idiot and we parted it was only a month after my Mother died. Her death seemed a lot bigger than the loss of him, weirdly I think that helped put everything in perspective. I found I was looking at my whole world around me with much wider eyes - seeing so much more.

I hope things become much clearer for you soon Blossom. They will, but it takes time. You'll be in a better mind before you realise! :o)

[justa335]

Wisdom comes at a cost, but these are the truly lifelong lessons worth remembering. Well written as always, Suzy :-)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

It surely does, I never seem to experience it any other way. Thank you so much Justa! :o) Sorry, I haven't been on here for ages, haven't been feeling very well, and been a bit overwhelmed - had to cut back on a lot of what I do on the internet, slowly getting there!

[Blossom]

Thanks for the virtual hugs, Suzy. From a poet to another, they felt just as good as real cuddles! :-)
We are not in a live-in situation. Both live with our families and our predicament is the circs that we have found ourselves in. Emotions, luckily, are intact (so far!). A break up is looming, but there's a likelihood that we survive the problem and stick together. Prayers, please?? :-(
Ta much for thinking of me. Believe me, that's a smile bringer! :-) xxx

[Suzy Hazelwood]

You're welcome to virtual cuddles Blossom....haha...the very thought!!! :oD At least you have your home. I think for me that would have been devastating if I had lost my comfort zone as well as a man that I thought I needed. (Found out I didn't in the end - luckily for me!)

Always thinking of you Blossom!!♥

[AaronFreitas]

I love this write... love you perspective :) You have a beautiful mind :)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Thank you so much Aaron!! :o)

[Nadia Gerassimenko]

We usually have a different mechanism that activates when our beloved leaves us, but I hope to think we sooner or later come to a realization that having met them at all, having them in our lives for whatever time was a gift enough and that their departure is also a gift...that lets us grow and expand.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Totally agree with that, gifts come in unexpected places! I can recall my Mother saying after I drifted apart from my boyfriend that maybe it was a good thing even if it didn't work out because we learn a lot from the negative as well as the positive. I felt a little worn by the whole experience, and wasn't entirely certain I agreed. I wished I'd never met him! But a year or two later I could totally see what she meant, I had learned an incredible amount from it all, and very much for the better. Most of all, I learned not to fear losing someone, that's the hardest thing in relationships. We think we won't cope without them - oh, but we do!! :o)

[Blossom]

Wow, Suzy!! "Ever since you left, my thoughts are inside out. Magnified, multiplied". Every syllable of these words resonates with me. I also read your comment above and I 'fear' I'm at the brink of something similar. Though it's not clear who's leaving. Or whether a leaving is unavoidable. As you can see, things, as well as your friend here, are muddled!! :-(
Oh, c'mon, Blossom! Focus! Great poetry, Suzy! :-)

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Oh, that's not good at all, so sorry to hear that Blossom *warm virtual hugs* it's a horrible and unsettling place to be in! I was very lucky I still had my own little flat (still do) and no children to think of in my dilemma in parting. It must be pretty complicated for families deciding to part or not to part. :o(

This poem was written for my 'Darcy Ellington' Poetry Blog on Tumblr - lots of relationship poetry on that blog. Most of the poems are not really about me now, but to some extent about what I have been through. But this one is definitely very personal to how I felt after the evil dust had settled.

I hope you find the best solution Blossom, so you're mind is more clear. I shall be thinking of you dear poetry friend! xx

[....................]

Oh, I know this one all too well... you are spot on, Suzy... we often receive gifts from that which caused us so much pain and sorrow... wonderful write

[Suzy Hazelwood]

It's something I've had to learn, I guess most of us do. I'm beginning to accept it as normal now, bad things happen, even if you lose everything or what you thought was everything - there is always more. Thank you so much! :o)

[....................]

There is nothing wrong with having to rebuild our lives... sometimes, the wrongs give us insights to do it right the second time around :) You are kindly welcome!

[rubie]

This one made me think of the whole "Ying/Yang" thing....how there must be balance, how it is always darkest before the dawn.....

Lovely write.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Yes Ying and Yang, very good point! It's a situation we'd love to avoid, but I find it's about seeing the bigger picture. Thank you Rubie!! :o)

[Roland Petrov]

"I see the small, the insignificant, in full relevance". Yes please! Always grateful for the gift of something.

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Gifts can come in the most unexpected ways, I often find they come from unpleasant circumstances. Once the storm has died down, you see things with new eyes! :o)

[Kelly Scheppers]

Incredible lines, Suzy...your closing was nothing shy of commanding! I really enjoyed this!

[Suzy Hazelwood]

Thank you so much Kelly, that's so kind of you, and very encouraging! :o)