Ahoy

I'm drowning in your waters, 

with every passing wave crashes a memory,

I grasp for air and try to keep my head above the waters, 

but it doesn't take. 

The thought of you swarms over me again and again,

like a tide that won't stop breaking- much like my heart. 

I'm sinking, below its pulling me under. I shut my eyes and all goes dark.

I linger a moment wishing the watery grave would take me in. 

Maybe I could be with you forever.  

But I open my eyes to see the reality still shining,

like the sun blinding my dreams and leaving me out to dry. 

The chances of surviving this are few. 

But as long as there are sands on the beach they will number my hopes for you.

Reviews

[Chris]

"grasp for" or gasp for? "below"?

I like where you take this one... because it FEELS real - careful to not over complicate it though.

[Saruwa]

Thanks for the comments Chris. Grasp is what I intended. Like a view of drowning physically and mentally. Thanks! And yes I will be careful of that, thank you

[Chris]

I thought grasp was what you wanted but gasp better fit the surroundings... emotions hold such sway over us mere mortals...

[Saruwa]

Yes Agreed. Thanks for the thoughts. I see that gasp does seem to make more sense. I have a hard time changing something I wrote in the midst of such emotions. It's like ripping away part of the initial motive. You know?

[Chris]

It is something all authors share... our writes are part of us.