Pleading with a broken heart

Oh dear heart !

What are you doing to me ? 

Do you enjoy watch me suffer ? 

Do you enjoy mocking me ? 

Why do I listen to you ? 

Why do I hope in vain ? 

Why do I try to heal you? 

When all that'll come is more pain? 

Oh dear heart !

Please just give me a break 

Please stop all these feelings 

All you give me is heartache 

I wish I could stop you 

And finally listen to reason 

I wish I could tame you 

And enjoy every season 

Oh dear heart !

I shared with you my plea 

But you did not show care 

You're too blinded to see 

Oh dear heart !

Since you won't let me be free 

I'll drown into looniness 

While I sink in this sea

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I like the effect of asking multiple questions in a row. I also like the idea of speaking to & thereby personifying one's own heart. Your pacing is even & swift. I like that you don't start every stanza with the same line (when using repetition, I prefer to mix it up like you've done here). Your sentiments are familiar & relatable to all of us -- if only we could control the way our hearts respond.

[Sweet]

Thank you so much for reviewing my poem and sharing your constructive thoughts.
At first I hesitated to use the repetition before each stanza, but I liked it more this way.
And yeah, I wish I could control my heart ^_^ life would be much easier.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Wow, well said, perfect in fact!
The heart is so treacherous, more so than anything else! You explain this so well! Acknowledgement, emotion, dead end, for all of us! Great poem! It's something everyone can relate to.

[Sweet]

I totally agree with you. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?
I'm just trying to make good use of this trouble maker, turning it into my muse.
I only wish it would let me write something happier lol
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts ^_^ It's always a delight to read people's insight.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Lol, "I only wish it would let me write something happier." I hear ya!
Something interesting about music is that it connects to your feelings and generates new feelings.
But even musical notes are first written down, and then they're read and played. There's still the process of writing behind the music, which i find interesting.
Though your writings may not seem happy, they do connect to many people's feelings on a musical level. So keep up the good work! I look forward to reading more.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

P.s. When i said "i hear ya," i didn't mean i wish you'd write something happier. I meant i felt the same way about my writing.

[Sweet]

Thanks for your thoughts. I feel ya ^_^ I love music, listen to it and sing it when no one can hear me =P
Music brings so many feelings and emotions, I find it very interesting how it can set a certain mood and connect people together. .
Your writing is happy, positive, filled with fantasy :) That's why I enjoy it.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Thank you and you're most welcome! Yes music is awesome! What kind do you like?

[Sweet]

I'm kinda like a sponge with music. I like almost every genre. From slow to fast, old to new ^_^
read moreI'm kinda like a sponge with music. I like almost every genre. From slow to fast, old to new ^_^
What about you ?

[Sweet]

I think my phone is kinda messing up O_O
What kind of music do you like ?

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Different types, mainly jazz and film scores. They help me with life and writing lol. Do you listen to music when you write?

[Sweet]

Nice. I rarely listen to music while writing, because the music I mostly listen to has lyrics and they'd distract me, but I do seek inspiration from them though.

[Cyprian Van Dyke]

Ah i understand. There is a lot of songs that have great stories to them.