Morning Commute Blues

read it and find out! :D

She had me lost for words,
like I can't find my dictionary.
Her sweet smile could mean anything,
like circles drawn in pictionary.
her sweet words drip,
from candyfloss lips,
and the seas would stand still,
for every wave of her hips.
I see her every day.
Same time, same train,
I always try to catch her eye,
so she can make my day again.
I daydream about our holidays,
on boats, cars, trains, planes,
but by dreams are spoiled,
like make-up in the rain,
because the ring on her finger says
she will never know my name.

Reviews

[Sirius King]

very nice read

[The Refined Poet]

oh wow... the ending just sneaks up on you. my favorite line is,

but by dreams are spoiled,
like make-up in the rain,

Nicely done...

[nigrum homonculus]

i love how in every poem of yours you build up the reader and then just hit them with a one-liner at the end. its really good. keep it up!